[mojones1990]

Deleted.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You haven’t really talked about what YOU want. 😉 You mentioned that this guy wanted to date you but that you “screwed up” — what does that mean? Clearly, whatever it was hurt him, and now he’s acting erratically as a result. I think that the reason you’re confused is that he wanted to date you, but feels that something came between the two of you, and he wants to keep you in his life, but doesn’t trust you to be someone he can count on. The not kissing you is his way of withholding some part of himself, since he feels that you might “screw up” again….. and hurt him. If he doesn’t kiss you, then he has less to lose, in his mind.

Hope that helps clear up his behavior for you.

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[mojones1990]

[quote=”April Masini”]You haven’t really talked about what YOU want. 😉 You mentioned that this guy wanted to date you but that you “screwed up” — what does that mean? Clearly, whatever it was hurt him, and now he’s acting erratically as a result. I think that the reason you’re confused is that he wanted to date you, but feels that something came between the two of you, and he wants to keep you in his life, but doesn’t trust you to be someone he can count on. The not kissing you is his way of withholding some part of himself, since he feels that you might “screw up” again….. and hurt him. If he doesn’t kiss you, then he has less to lose, in his mind.

Hope that helps clear up his behavior for you.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b][/quote]

I didn’t want anything at first but now I think I do. So long story short he said he wanted more and thought we were working on being exclusive but I kind of shot him down and publicly at that. I mean there’s a lot more to it but that’s the gist of it. But he and I just talked and now there’s another part to the story and now I’m even more confused, even though I feel as though that I shouldn’t be.

I’m not too sure now. Sunday he kept asking me to spend the night then he looked into my phone saw that my guy friend wanted me to come over and asked if I was going to see him. I said I might, then he asked if I was going to spend the night with him and I said I might but probably not, to which he said well you can come back and spend the night if you want. I said no I’m just going to go then I left.

I didn’t hear from all week which was weird. Finally called him yesterday . Finally talked to him and he tells me he doesn’t want me to get attached. What the heck? Why in the world would he think that when he did all that stuff from the first post that I mentioned (kept asking to see me, getting upset about other guys, etc.)? Like it just doesn’t make sense lol, so much so that I think he’s lying because he knows that he’s attached and doesn’t think I want what he wants. Really how does he not want me to get attached when HE was doing all that stuff? Then he says “yea I just feel bad using you for sex”, again what in the world? You just use me for sex but I go home two hours away, but you ask for me to come back that same night just for sex? Want to hold me in your arms as you fall asleep because it was just sex? Being almost clingy because it’s just sex? Correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like he did too much for it to be just sex. Then I say how are you using me if we’re both on the same page on what we do and don’t want?

Then here comes the kicker, he said well there’s someone else. I said oh when did you meet her, he said in December (we met in November). So I ask so was she out of town last weekend or something? Because remember before I even got a chance to let him know when I was coming back he called me at 3:30 that afternoon saying he wanted me to come up there, stayed there until 4 pm the next day, then he asked me to come over again only a few hours later then calls me again to come back spend the night, then wants to go to church the next morning, and tells me he’s trying to work on spending more time together, tells me to do my work there so that I can spend the night. Any who he says the other girl conveniently went to a wedding that weekend. Then I asked why didn’t he ask her over the week before when he was feeling down instead of me to which he replies “oh I think she was busy”, again how convenient. The person you supposedly want is convenient so you ask your booty call instead of waiting for the girl you want? I know he has a best gf then why not ask her next instead of your fwb? Again I think he’s just lying.

Also where was this girl the week before then when I spent the night the Saturday, Sunday, and he wanted me to come back that Monday and then begged to see me again days later? Then I mentioned the other guy that I had a date with a few weeks ago then he proceeds to ask me, “have you had sex with him? Did you blow him, did you kiss him?” If you really have this girl then what do you care?

I really do think he’s lying. I know it seems crazy lol but I really do. I think he got hurt, chalked it up in his head that I don’t want him and now he’s trying to push me away and make me feel bad. Really based off my other post did that seem like a girl who was getting attached? Lol Even you mentioned how my behavior came off a certain way. Also I feel like if you truly had someone else you wouldn’t care what your fwb is doing. I don’t know I could definitely be wrong but I really do think he’s lying.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Do you want a committed monogamous relationship with him?

Or do you just want to play the field and have him be part of that?

[mojones1990]

[quote=”April Masini”]Do you want a committed monogamous relationship with him?

Or do you just want to play the field and have him be part of that?[/quote]

Committed monogamous relationship.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Okay, thanks.

So, if you want a committed, monogamous relationship, you have to behave as if you want one. In other words, you have to make yourself someone he’d want to be monogamous with. When you tell him you’re going to another guy’s house, or are going to spend time with another guy instead of him, he’s not going to feel that you want monogamy with him. 🙁 It sounds like he’s now playing the field, probably because he didn’t feel that your were available and gave up. If you want to monogamy and commitment with him, then you have to make it clear with your behavior. 🙂 You can turn this around, but you have to do so with your behavior, not by pointing fingers at him. 😉

I hope that helps.

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