[Val Unfiltered💋]

hey babes 💋 so i’m kinda in my feelings rn and could use some real talk. i love dressing up and feeling confident in my skin. it’s literally part of my brand. but it’s so frustrating when people assume that’s all there is to me. like yes, i like having fun and i’m not a saint, but i also want someone who actually sees me.

i keep wondering if i’m doing something wrong? like, am i attracting the wrong type of guy? or is dating just that messy right now?

anyway, how do you know when a guy’s intentions are actually real before getting too attached?

[Ethan Morales]

I feel you, love this is such a real, vulnerable spot to be in. From what you’re saying, it’s not about you doing anything “wrong”; it’s about people not taking the time to see the full you. Your confidence, your style, your playfulness that’s magnetic, and yes, it will attract attention, but the kind of attention that truly values all of you is rarer.
Here’s the thing about knowing if a guy’s intentions are real: it’s less about what he says and more about what he does consistently over time. A few things to look for:
He invests in knowing you beyond the surface. Does he ask about your dreams, your fears, what excites you not just what you look like or how fun you are in the moment?

Actions over words. Compliments are nice, but does he show up when it matters? Respect your time, remember what you’ve shared, include you in his life beyond casual hangouts.

Consistency. Real intentions aren’t flash-in-the-pan. Does he behave the same way whether it’s a text, a date, or a day when you’re not “dressed up” or being “fun”?

Handles boundaries well. A guy with real intentions respects what you need, your pace, and doesn’t pressure or push you to be anything but yourself.

Dating is messy, yes but the wrong energy often sticks around because it feels exciting, even when it’s not right. The right person makes you feel seen, safe, and respected, not just desired.
Here’s a gentle nudge: keep enjoying your confidence, your style, your spark but watch how people respond to your soul, not just your shine. That’s where real love shows up.
If you want, I can give you a few red flags that usually show when someone’s not in it for the right reasons it might help you spot things early before getting too attached. Do you want me to do that?

[Mia Caldwell]

Honestly babe, you’re not doing anything wrong, confidence and loving how you look doesn’t mean you’re asking to be misunderstood. Some people just project their own assumptions instead of actually seeing you. The right guy won’t be thrown off by your vibe he’ll match it and care about what’s underneath.

If you want to know his intentions early, watch his consistency more than his compliments. Anyone can flirt; few will follow through when things aren’t all fun and shiny.

[Heart Whisperer]

I feel this deep in my bones. The world has this bad habit of confusing confidence with invitation. When a woman owns her space, her clothes, her beauty, her energy, people start writing their own story about her, one that’s got nothing to do with who she really is. It’s maddening.

But here’s the truth: you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just visible. And being visible draws attention from all kinds of people, some who are drawn to your light, and some who only want to bask in it for a minute. The hard part is learning to spot who’s who before you hand them your heart.

A man with real intentions shows up with consistency, not compliments. He listens more than he looks. He makes space for your mind, not just your body. And when you speak, he doesn’t just nod, he remembers.

Dating is messy right now, yes. But don’t dim yourself trying to attract the right kind of man. The ones who can meet your depth will see you even when the world only wants to stare. Keep shining, babe just make sure you’re choosing who gets close enough to feel the warmth.

[Nina A]

You can’t find real love in a place where you’re busy proving you deserve it.

What you’re describing isn’t about clothes or confidence; it’s about being seen. The right person won’t mistake your sparkle for shallowness, they’ll notice the woman underneath the glow. You don’t need to tone yourself down to be taken seriously. You just need to stop entertaining people who are drawn to performance instead of presence.

To tell when a man’s intentions are real, pay attention to consistency. Does he listen? Does he show up the same way when the lights are off and no one’s watching? Real love feels calm, not performative. It deepens with time instead of burning fast and leaving you empty.

You’re not attracting the wrong kind of men, you’re learning to stop saying yes to the wrong kind of attention. Real love begins when you decide you’re already enough.

[Lune David]

Oh, I felt this one. You’re not the problem — it’s the lens people use when they see a confident woman who actually enjoys her own reflection. Some guys get intimidated; others get distracted. Either way, that’s their story, not yours.

The real ones? They’ll be drawn to your energy and your essence. They’ll flirt with your mind just as much as your style. 😉

Here’s the thing — you don’t need to tone it down or second-guess your vibe. Just stop giving backstage passes to people who only came for the show. When someone’s intentions are real, you won’t have to decode them — they’ll make it known through calm, consistent presence.

Keep shining, babe. The right one won’t just see the glow — he’ll want to protect the flame.

[AskApril Masini]

One thing I always say is this, present yourself the way your type would want.

What is your type? What kind of woman does he want to date? What are his hobbies? Where would you likely find him? You need to present yourself that way, get involved in those hobbies, and hang out in those places.

You can’t completely stop men who aren’t your type from approaching you, but you can reduce that and increase how often men who ARE your type approach you.

You’re the advertising agency for yourself. You need to learn how to present yourself in the best possible way.

Now, there’s no surefire way to know if a guy is genuinely interested in you, but at the very least, his actions need to match his words. He should show genuine interest in getting to know you, the things you love, what makes you happy. And he’s not trying to sleep with you on the first date. 😂 That’s a pretty good sign right there.

[Member]

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