[PaulMchaull]

A few months ago I met a girl over facebook, we go to the same university, she added me, we talked as friends for a good amount of time. We got close, then she had to go to Manchester to finish her studies and we were supposed to meet there every few months to kinda alleviate the distance thing. Then since she got there, she changed, she pretends that she’s busy while she logs in and out and never replies to my messages, ignores my last mesages and always jumps to ‘morning baby sorry i was asleep / tired / went to a club’. she started doing drugs and going out with people that are made only for the night life. She breaks up with me every time without even telling me, she just vanishes and never replies.. BUT everytime she comes back to our home country, she calls, says that she misses me, that she’s sorry, tells me that she loves me and wants to marry me.. then after going back to Manchester, she changes to the complete opposite. The thing is she’s not even BEAUTIFUL, she’s cute tho, I don’t know maybe it’s the effect of love.. but this is the first time I love a girl for things like being smart, creative, funny and ambitious.. And I really can’t resist her everytime I even see her name poppin out on my phone.. Last night, she called, I was busy, didn’t pick up, I called back after an hour and she didn’t pick too.. knowing that it’s been weeks since she ignores me.. HELP MEEEH :'(

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Long distance relationships are tough under normal circumstances. Add in the fact that this is your first love, and it’s even more difficult. With a first love, you want attention — both to give and receive, and you want validation and you want to spend a lot of time with the person. When she’s in another part of the country, it’s difficult to do that. And then add in the next problem — she’s playing the field and you’re not — and it’s got to be very frustrating for you! Not to mention…. it’s early in the relationship and you don’t really know each other that well yet — and what you’re learning isn’t all to your liking. 😕

You have two choices. You can either decide this isn’t worth the disappointment and try to find someone to date who’s not long distance. Or you can stop trying to change her, accept the situation, and go with it. Not great choices, but it doesn’t sound like she wants to make any changes, and if you’re going to be in a committed relationship, there has to be some mutual commitment from both people. She’s not all in, so that limits your choices.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

[Member]

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