[Kathy]

A few months ago, my husband and I decided to rent out a room in our home to a local college student. The guy is a friend of a friend and it didn’t seem like it would be a problem. He’s pretty attractive, active in intramural sports and he keeps himself in shape.

Here’s the problem. A few nights ago, I got up to get something out of the fridge. It was almost completely dark in the house except for a small lamp that happened to be on in the living room, but I knew my way around and I hate turning on the hallway lights when I’m sleepy.

Right when I was about to turn the corner of the hallway into the kitchen, I glanced over and saw something totally bizarre in the living room. The college guy was completely nude and laying stomach down on my couch. There was no one else there. Just him, my couch and his clothes on the floor. He was basically making love to the couch. He was facing away from me and our floors are carpeted so he didn’t hear me or have any idea I was there.

I was stunned and I didn’t know what to do. My first thought was anger, because our living room had been smelling strange for a few weeks and nothing I tried was fixing the problem. Now I know why.

After watching him for a few minutes, I finally decided to sneak back to the bedroom and think this whole thing over while he continued to do his thing. I didn’t sleep a wink that night and I didn’t tell my husband anything about it. The next day, I checked on the couch once everyone was gone. To add insult to injury, there were some pretty noticeable stains under the cracks in the cushions and on the cushions themselves. The pervert didn’t even have the decency to clean up after himself!

I got ready to fix the mess, but then I decided not to clean up because I didn’t want this guy to have any idea that I knew what he had done. Instead, I decided to wait until night time and see if he was going to do it again. Sure enough, he did, and he did it again the following night. Obviously, this guy has issues and I have no idea how someone who looks like him would feel the need to do something like this.

After giving it some thought, I’ve come up with a few possible solutions to this problem.

First, I could tell my husband about what he’s done, which I’m considering doing.

Secondly, I could call the university, explain the situation to an admissions person and try to get the guy kicked out of school on some moral grounds. Probably wouldn’t work though.

Next, I could find his parents’ phone number (somewhere out of state) and tell them what he’s done, although I don’t know if they would believe me anyway. Furthermore, I don’t know if kicking him out of our house and telling his folks wouldn’t just completely ruin the friendship that my husband has with one of his friends.

My last and best option appears to be blackmail. Now I know that it’s morally and ethically questionable, but hear me out. This guy manipulated our kindness and took advantage of my husband and I. Don’t you think it’s only fair to return the favor in spades? I think so.

Now I know my husband would never go for this idea, so I would have to invite one of my most trusted friends to stay over in the second guest room one night. That way she could be a second witness to what this guy is doing and she could possibly even help me get some video footage of him in the act, although the quality probably wouldn’t be very good.

What I’m thinking is, the day after that, I would have a one on one discussion with him and let him know that he’s been busted. I would tell him that I know what he’s done to my couch and that I have proof of it.

My ultimatum would be that either he lets me shoot video of him doing the deed during the day time or there will be trouble. Then I could figure out how to make multiple copies of the video and get at least one of those copies to my friend. At that point, this guy would have to do anything I say or face the possibility of having his actions broadcasted over the internet. At least, that’s how I think it will work.

Please understand, I know that my idea may sound a little twisted, but what this guy did was pretty twisted too and my house is paying the price for it! I’m not even going to get into what I think he may have done with a pair of my shoes and there’s no telling what other piece of furniture he may have been messing with.

In light of all this, I think that the worst thing I could do to him is tell both my husband and his parents what he’s been doing and then let him deal with the consequences. At least by blackmailing him, I have a young attractive college guy who will have to do whatever I say while learning the reality that his actions have consequences.

I feel like I need to take some action on this within the next day or two, but I really need to get some advice before I make a final decision. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, he’s not a house guest. He’s a tenant. And you’re a landlord. So this is a legal relationship. Therefore, you both have rights and responsibilities. I’m not sure what your legal agreement was and if it included full run of the house or not, but this might be a good time to put an agreement in writing if you don’t already have a lease agreement.

Next, you need to get a grip. 😕 I know what you saw was unpleasant, but if you start videotaping him and blackmailing him, you’re going to find yourself needing a lawyer. Seriously. Landlords can’t videotape their tenants having sex — even if it’s with a sofa — and then use that as blackmail material. I’m not sure where you live, but I’m pretty sure you’d be committing a crime. After all, you’re the one who solicited the tenant.

Third, there’s such an obvious elephant in the room and you haven’t even mentioned it: [i]Just tell him to stop doing it. [/i]It’s kind of bizarre that you didn’t tell your husband and then you went back by yourself for a second viewing of the X-rated furniture show in your living room — and STILL didn’t tell him to stop it or tell your husband. 😯

Very simply, take the moral judgment out of the equation (you’d lose with the university and the court), and be the landlord. Tell him that you saw him doing this (that should put an end to it entirely), and that you’re going to be billing him for the stains on the sofa. Then send the cushions or the sofa out to be dry cleaned and give him the bill. If he doesn’t pay it, deduct it from his rent — or better yet, do whatever your state law allows you to collect damages.

Next, set up some ground rules, and put them in writing and if you don’t have a lease now, make one!

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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