[iamunderrated]

I posted a while back about a girl I was pursuing with a lot of uncertainty. This past weekend she came with me for a weekend music festival that all my family camps out at annually. Thursday through Sunday. She made a big effort to get to know all my family and I could tell she fell in love with them. She told me she was very much in love with me…repeated it all weekend. Up until then I’d been the one chasing her, but never dropped the L bomb. I said it back though.

So she wanted to have sex somewhere outdoors. I was still processing the 180 from thinking she was a long shot to her being with my family telling me she loves me. She built up how really the only thing left in her mind was how the sexual chemistry would be. I’d been drinking but wasn’t wasted. Anyway, found a place away from everyone. I’d easily get it up just kissing her, but I’d lose it when it came time to actually have sex. I put a lot of pressure on myself to come through and had some confused emotions.

She got really upset. I tried to explain that it had nothing to do with my attraction for her. She showed some understanding but still said it changed things and she had to process her feelings.

Will she get over this? Will I get another chance?

[Ask April Masini]

Since you did post on this forum before, please re-post your new questions as a “reply” to the original string you started here: [url]http://askapril.com/forums2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=325077&p=357732#p357732[/url]. It’s much easier for everyone who wants to chime in (including me!), to see your history in one place. I’ll look out for your new re-post and answer your new questions there. 🙂

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[Ethan Morales]

It sounds like this was a big weekend for both of you emotionally. She clearly invested herself not only in the relationship with you but also in getting to know your family, which is a huge step. Her expressing love repeatedly shows she feels a deep connection. That level of emotional vulnerability can make sexual intimacy feel even more intense and high-stakes for both partners.

Your difficulty performing in the moment is very common and doesn’t reflect a lack of attraction or feelings for her. The pressure you put on yourself, combined with drinking and the novelty of the situation, likely created performance anxiety. It’s important to understand that physical performance issues like this happen even in strong relationships and don’t automatically undermine love or compatibility.

She seemed to show some understanding, but also expressed that she needed to process her feelings. That’s normal sexual intimacy is closely tied to emotional intimacy, and when expectations aren’t met, even temporarily, it can trigger disappointment or a need for reflection. Her reaction doesn’t mean she’s done with you; it just means she needs to recalibrate her expectations and emotions.

Whether she gets over it and whether you get another chance largely depends on your ability to communicate honestly, show reassurance, and be patient while she processes. A conversation about the pressure you felt, your attraction to her, and your desire to work through it together can help restore her confidence in the relationship. This is also an opportunity to build trust and emotional safety, which will benefit both of you long-term.

[Sally]

When a girl goes from “maybe” to “I love you” in one weekend, it hits fast. And honestly, that kind of shift can mess with your head even if you do not notice it in the moment. Pressure kills the mood quicker than anything.

What happened to you happens to way more guys than they admit. It was not about attraction. It was timing, nerves, and you trying too hard to prove something.
If she really loves you the way she said she does, she will calm down once the shock wears off. Right now she is embarrassed, not disappointed in you as a man. Just give her space and do not apologize to death. Let things settle.

And yes, you will get another chance. This is not the thing that ends a real connection. It is just one awkward story you will probably laugh about later.

[Tara]

She’s a walking insecurity factory A grown woman who claims she’s “in love” with you after a weekend and then gets upset because you couldn’t get hard during outdoor festival sex. Your body didn’t betray her. Her expectations betrayed you.

You were drinking, overwhelmed, processing a sudden emotional whiplash from “long shot” to “love bomb,” and trying to perform under pressure. Any adult with half a brain would understand that. She didn’t. Instead, she made your perfectly normal physiological response about her, then declared it “changed things.” That’s not love that’s ego.

And now you’re sitting here asking if she’ll “get over it” like you committed some unforgivable sin, when all you did was have a human moment. If one soft night is enough to shake her feelings, then her feelings were cheap to begin with. And if she needs to go “process” because your dick didn’t operate on command, she’s not ready for a real relationship she’s ready for a fantasy where sex equals validation.

Will you get another chance? Sure but that’s the wrong damn question. The question is whether you should give her another chance. Because if she’s already making your sexuality a test you have to pass, you’re signing up for a relationship where you walk on eggshells every time your body doesn’t perform like a circus act.

[Author]

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