[Anonymous]

I’m not really sure what to do anymore. The last couple of days I’ve been thinking of the relationship between my boyfriend and myself and I think he might be emotionally abusive.

We’ve been dating for 2 years and living together for 1.5 years. When he first moved in, everything was great. He doesn’t work but he gets SSI. He promised he’d try to get a job, but so far nothing has happened. When I bring it up, he says that I haven’t helped him with his resume or that he can’t work even though he can do housework. So, I end up working 45-50 hours a week trying to afford things. He’s always telling me I work to much, but I don’t see an alternative. I try and spend the weekends with him, but when I do, it’s only what he wants. If I try to suggest something, he refuses and goes off on his own and then later complains about me not doing something with him.
So, we tried to do things together with my friends, since he hasn’t gone out and made his own friend. But then he started telling me what he thought about my friends. Basically, he hates them. He started fights with them, would go onto facebook and make very rude comments concerning them and even went as far as calling one of my friend’s boyfriends homosexual even though he’s not. Now, I never see them anymore. When I got extremely upset when I realized that I haven’t seen them in months, he said he’d fix things between himself and them, but I don’t see him even trying to apologize.

He’s also made it very clear to me he hates my family. My younger brother used to do drugs, but due to family intervention he stopped, got a job, and is doing good for himself now. Yet, whenever my boyfriend sees him, he’s always bringing up what he did wrong in his past. And that’s all he talks to me about. How my brother messed up, how I shouldn’t spend time with him cause he might be doing drugs again and it might not be safe. He also does not like my other siblings or my grandparents. During Thanksgiving, even though I was trying to say hi to my grandparents, since I only see them during holidays, he refused to let me have a conversation with them uninterrupted. It got the point where I left early and only ended up staying for about an hour after the Thanksgiving meal.

I’ve realized, that I’ve avoided things that I enjoy. I like watching scary movies. But I don’t watch those anymore since when i do, he always ends up saying that people who watch horror and such are sick and disgusting. I don’t drink often, but I like having a wine cooler or two or a mixed drink during the holidays. Yet, I can’t do that anymore without him telling me that he hates people that drink and drunks. I love animals and horses, but when i watch a movie with horses or even find the time to go to a horse show, he makes fun of me.

He had decided that he wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. Which I agreed to. We do still touch each other in intimate ways and such. At times, he tries touching me and is too rough that it hurts. I tried explaining that to him, but it didn’t change. So, I refuse to let him touch me that way anymore. When I do refuse, he gets extremely angry. He just doesn’t seem to want to listen about what I like and is only concerned with what he wants and when he wants it.

I just don’t know what to do. I hate being home when he is, but on the days that he is loving and nice it’s wonderful being home and I remember why I love him. I just don’t know what to do. To either try and make this a good relationship, or get out of it. And I don’t know where to start.

I apologize for the long message, I just really need some help and advice.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

And you like him — why?? 😯

He doesn’t have a job. He hates your friends. He isn’t nice to your family. He doesn’t do anything you want to do ever. You don’t have sex even though you’re living with him. When he touches you sexually he’s too rough. What, exactly, is in this for you? 😕

Rather than blame him for emotionally abusing you, why don’t you ask yourself why as an adult, you stay with a man who doesn’t offer you anything? 😳

My advice to you is to break up today. You can do a lot better with practically ANY guy in the mall, but you can do SUPERLATIVELY better if you get rid of Mr. Wrong, and read Think & Date Like A Man, that you can purchase here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] (or on Amazon or the website for Barnes & Noble), a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep MR. RIGHT.

It’s almost the new year — make some positive changes now, starting with a break up. You can have a lot of happiness in your life if you treat yourself better than you are now.

Let me know what happens and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter, and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Member]

Posts