Dear April,
I dated a girl for 9 months, ironically named April. We were long distance, but saw eachother every 2 weeks, and talked between 1 and 4 hours a day usually. I moved to her city in the summer and thats when things started going bad. I started taking it for granted, not really appreciating her, and distanced myself emotionally. I lived with her a month in august and was not ready to move in, though I thought I was and it just got really bad, and our sex life suffered and she just emotionally detached herself, eventually breaking up with my after 9 months of being together over the phone when I moved to my new city.
She started dating a guy 3 weeks after we broke up, but we’ve been talking still the last couple months. At first she was hesitant to talk to me, but shes regained her feelings and I convinced her that her relationship with the guy is unhealthy because its not really based off anything. She’s seen a lot of changes in me and says she “sees me differently” than I used to be, but she says shes been hanging out with the other guy still and she views him really importantly in her life. She says after we broke up, she was questioning whether love existed and was just numb, and he kind of helped her be who she wants to be, and she says shes changed positively because of him and that hes not just “some guy.” This really worries me because shes said she has feelings for me still, and we talk almost an hour a day still. I know she still hangs out with him though, and I’m just afraid he’s kind of a threat, even though I feel he’s just kind of a rebound. She said when they broke up he said he loved her and cried and everything, nd I think she’s just afraid to hurt his feelings, but I don’t believe you fall in love in one month of dating, it took me almost a year to realize I was in love with her.
So I’m wondering if I should be really worried, or not. I know this needs time and I’m prepared to wait and be committed, and to not pressure her, but its just hard because he can see her when he wants, and I’m 300 miles away, even though I’ve visited her many times this year. Also, our “would be” anniversary is coming up Dec 6th, and I’m just wondering if I should bother doing anything because I feel its an opportunity to say something, but then again, we aren’t together anymore.
Thanks
