[Anonymous]

This past summer I received a Facebook message from my high school senior prom date. It was her birthday
and she was looking for me. I sent a short message back that read ” Happy birthday to my most memorable and favorite
prom date”. Subsequently, we began chatting on Facebook every night for hours. We shared memories, laughed (LOL’s) and
flirted. We hadn’t seen or spoken to each other for 30 years save for one brief encounter 15 years ago. We set a “date” and met. She was still the classy, sophisticated and energetic person I remembered from high school. She acted very available and interested in continuing the renewed friendship. Although we both agreed to take it day by day. Not long after we met she told me her mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and the prognosis was very bad. We live very far from each other and I haven’t been able to offer her the support she needs. In the short time we were together this past summer she became very close to my kids and they loved her as well. Since her mother was diagnosed and subsequently passed ( November) she has been very distant. My question , do I wait for her to reach out? I am on the verge acting needy and selfish. I don’t know what to do. I realize there is a greiving period but why can’t we grieve together?
Thanks for listening

[AskApril Masini]

Everybody grieves in their own way, which is why you can’t necessarily grieve together. She may not want to. That said, it’s entirely appropriate for you to reach out to her to offer condolences, check in on her, see how she’s feeling, offer her a date, send her notes, gifts and other things that let her know you’re thinking of her, you’re still there — and you’re still interested. When she’s ready (and she will be in her own time), she’ll respond.

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes, and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at [url][/url].

[Member]

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