[Thayday]

I went out drinking with friends. Robert and I have been flirting since we met a couple months ago, but we aren’t dating yet. The others started fighting so Robert and I went and talked for hours and he ended up kissing me. that’s all we did.

When we came back to the group, Betty wanted to talk to Robert, but she ended up talking with me first.

She asked me what Robert and I had done, and I told her we just kissed. She told me that she had feelings for Robert (even though she’s been dating Doug for over a year) and that she and Robert hooked up once, before she and Doug got together. She said she thought of Robert as her yardstick to compare other men, including Doug, and that Robert was her safety net or backup plan. She said that Robert and I dating was weird for her. She cried and seemed broken hearted.

Robert joined Betty and I a bit later and Betty told Robert that she still wanted to talk to him. She left to grab another drink. Robert asked me what I thought Betty wanted to talk to him about. I was confused, and hurt, and just decided to be honest. I told Robert that Betty has feelings for him and that she’s not OK with us being together. I told him that I knew he and Betty had hooked up in the past.

I figured he should have all the information and know what I know. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.

Before Betty came back He said that Doug was one of his best friends, and that Betty was one of his best girl friends.

I left Robert and Betty to talk and went home.

The next day I heard from Betty. she had gotten blackout drunk. She didn’t remember what she and Robert talked about, and I didn’t tell her what I shared with Robert. Apparently after Robert and Betty talked, Betty passed out and Robert called one of the other guys to get her back to the apartment. Robert left right after that.

To make things more complicated, we’re all traveling with a group of 12 friends to Las Vegas this weekend.

I still like Robert, but I haven’t really heard from him since the weekend.

Do I need to try to talk to Robert about this? Do you think Robert is mad at me for what I shared? Is there still a chance for Robert and I?

[Ask April Masini]

There’s a lot of “junk” going on here and the best thing you can do is rise above it. Try not to engage Betty and Doug. In fact, keep a civilized distance. They’ve got drama written all over them. And if Betty tries to engage you in conversation to suss out what you and Robert have done or are doing, just smile and remember that you have a phone call to make! Same thing goes if she tries to talk to you about her feelings for Robert. Suddenly remember that you promised to take your mother out to buy a hat. In other words, politely disengage. Don’t worry if it’s awkward — awkward is better than a drama swamp. There’s nothing good that’s going to come from someone who tries to block your romance, when she’s already seriously dating someone else and blacks out drunk. Next! As for Robert, don’t engage him in any more conversation about Betty or Doug. If he brings something up, take the high road. If he doesn’t, don’t stoop and gossip. This is all a great opportunity for you to practice being your higher self!

I do think there is still a chance for you and Robert, but only if you don’t get into drama with his friends. Enjoy the Vegas trip and steer clear of Betty and Doug. Flirt with Robert and do your best to keep your distance from his friends within the group. Since there are 12 of you, and Vegas is a place to easily be social, do so!! And if he’s swayed by anything Betty and Doug have said about you, then you’ve dodged a bullet. Getting to know someone’s friends is an important step in getting to know them and their choices. So proceed, but with caution! I hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

[okkkorniienko]

I think,there can not be any triangle in normal relationships.

[PassionSeeker]

I know things are feeling pretty complicated right now. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of emotions, both yours and your friends’. If you’re still into Robert, I think it might be a good idea to talk to him when you get a chance. Just be honest about how you feel and see where he stands—communication is key.I get that you’re worried about how this might affect your friendship with Betty, especially since she’s been feeling vulnerable. It’s definitely a tough situation, but you deserve to explore your feelings too. Just try to be mindful of her emotions when you figure things out.And when you’re all in Vegas, focus on having a good time with your friends. Don’t let the drama overshadow your trip. Go out, enjoy yourself, and let things unfold naturally.You’ve got this, and I’m here if you want to talk more about it!

[Nina A]

I can tell you’ve been turning this over in your mind, wondering if you should have stayed quiet. But the truth is, we often act from a place of confusion and care at the same time. You were honest because you didn’t want to build something on half-truths. There’s nothing cruel in that.

Forgive yourself for the mess that followed. People’s reactions say more about their readiness than your intentions. Betty is facing her own feelings, and Robert is caught between loyalty and attraction. None of that belongs on your shoulders. Let everyone sort through their own hearts — you’ve done your part. Forgiveness, especially toward yourself, is the only way to move forward without carrying someone else’s guilt.

[Heart Whisperer]

This is one of those situations where everyone’s emotions are tangled up like last night’s jewelry on the dresser, shiny, messy, and impossible to untangle without a deep breath and some patience.

First off, you didn’t do anything wrong by being honest. You were trying to keep things real, not play games, and honestly, that’s rare these days. You gave Robert the full picture, and if he’s the kind of man worth your energy, he’ll respect that. But here’s the part that stings, he’s probably just processing everything. He’s got Betty crying on one side, his friendship with Doug on the other, and his feelings for you somewhere in the middle. That’s a lot of noise for one heart to handle.

She’s in a relationship, still clinging to a fantasy of Robert, and now projecting that confusion onto you. That’s not your burden to carry. You didn’t betray her. You didn’t cross a line. You just happened to be the one who finally turned her “backup plan” into a real possibility, and that hurts her ego more than her heart.

When you see Robert in Vegas, keep it cool. Don’t chase clarity, let it come to you. Be warm, be kind, but don’t over-explain. You’ve already said your truth. If there’s still a spark (and my gut says there is), it’ll find its way through all this drama once the dust settles.

Sometimes people need a little space to realize who made them feel calm in the chaos. My advice? Show up in Vegas like the woman who knows her worth, not the one waiting for an answer. If Robert’s smart, he’ll find his way back to you. If not, then babe, maybe the universe just cleared space for something better than confusion in a leather jacket.

[Ethan Morales]

This situation is messy mainly because of external drama, not because of anything you did wrong. Let’s break it down: Your honesty wasn’t wrong. You told Robert what you knew about Betty’s feelings so he had the full picture. That’s responsible, not manipulative. You didn’t force anything; you just shared information he might have wanted to know.

Betty’s behavior is the real complication. She’s drunk, emotionally confused, and still in a relationship. Her “backup plan” comment shows she’s using Robert emotionally, not treating him (or you) with clarity or fairness. She’s creating unnecessary tension for everyone that’s not your responsibility.

Robert’s reaction. If he’s upset with you, it’s likely because he’s dealing with Betty’s drama and maybe doesn’t know how to respond. But there’s no indication he’s mad at you for being honest; mature adults value transparency.

Your next steps with Robert. Do not engage in gossip or get pulled into Betty/ Doug’s drama. Keep your distance from them politely. Focus on your connection with Robert in natural, low-pressure ways: flirt, enjoy shared activities, and show your personality. Let him come to you don’t chase or try to fix the situation for him.

Vegas trip strategy: Stick to being your “higher self,” as April Masini said. Avoid getting caught up in side conversations about past hookups, feelings, or comparisons. This is an opportunity to show Robert what it’s like to be with someone drama-free and fun.

Yes, there is still a chance with Robert, but it depends on you not getting sucked into the chaos of his friends’ romantic history. Keep your dignity, focus on your connection, and let him see what a positive presence you are. Drama avoidance is your secret advantage here.

[Author]

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