[jmonty78]

So as some of you may have read on my last post, my V of 5 months wouldn’t open up to me. After extensively looking into things, she fits the description of an ”eccentric personality” which looks like I may have a lot of working to do in order to ever make her completely comfortable with me.

The other night, we talked….a LOT, which was a big change and definitely a positive one I had been hoping for. After waiting 5 months (very patiently) we finally kissed (real kisses) and she let my hands do a lot more roaming than they ever have with her before. I didn’t want to dive into trying to have sex with her, because for one I respect her, and two, I wasn’t going to press my luck. I want her to be comfortable. We texted back and forth all day yesterday and things seemed to be actually better than ever the last few days/week.

I went to her place of work before the end of her shift and scraped the ice from the windows in her car (because I’m sweet like that) and in hopes that we could do something when she got off of work. Well…I didn’t hear from her. Then I texted her, and everything seemed to be fine, however, I will admit I was a little disappointed that she didn’t even ask if it was me, or assume, and thank me for scraping her windows.

She told me she was at her cousins visiting so I left her be and got online (Facebook), I saw a little while later she was online too. Shortly before that I had posted on my ”wall” that I was ”extremely bored.” A friend of mine that has always been nothing more than a friend (and is engaged) commented on my status and said ‘If you feel like driving….I know somewhere you can go.” We haven’t seen one another in years and she lives 3 hours away. I am certain her comment was 100% innocent.

To make the rest of a long story short, my V asked me about it. I told her I was assuming she posted that because I hadn’t seen her in a long time. My V then mentioned if shes such a good friend then ”why have you never spoken of her?” I explained I have lost touch with a lot of friends and so forth thru the years and I am certain the comment meant nothing more than that. She basically said she didn’t believe me, and I said everything I felt should be said to reassure her that I love her and that there was nothing to ”doubt me” over. She again basically told me again she didn’t believe me (this was all over texts). The last message I got from her was ”I’m mad….doubtful and going to bed. Each text you send just pisses me off even more.” So I called her real quick and she ignored my call. Later I couldn’t sleep and sent her a lengthy text message basically telling her that I needed to get this off my chest if there was any chance of me sleeping and I told her I would NEVER compromise our relationship EVER! That I think about her form the time I wake up until I go to sleep, and that I smile every time I see her because she makes my world a better place, etc. etc. It was all positive reassurance of my feelings for ONLY her.

I haven’t tried to call or text her since. I felt at this point, she knows how I feel and I have done my best, in a situation that I didn’t do ANYTHING wrong, to let her know how I feel about her. She hasn’t called or texted me all day…..what do I do at this point? I didn’t sleep but an hour or so last night and have felt sick to my stomach over this all day because I didn’t do anything wrong, and I never would do her wrong. I also can’t control what someone else says to me on a networking site (also I have deleted my FB and MS accounts, it isn’t worth all the hassle it has caused me). Any thoughts would sure be appreciated at this point. As usual, I am long winded and appreciate you taking the time to read this!!!

[AskApril Masini]

I think you did everything right. She’s spooked, and you have to give her time to get over whatever it is that’s spooking her. The problem with Facebook and other systems where you are clearly identified and so is every communication you have with everyone else, is that there’s lots of room for misinterpretation. That’s what happened here.

Your friend’s message was definitely flirtatious regardless of whether or not you responded. Your girlfriend who is a virgin is probably very worried that you — and a lot of other people in your life — have more sexual experience than she does, and she’s anxious about that. The comment from the other woman set her off.

Your closing out your Facebook account was a gallant gesture, and while it may not alleviate her jealousy or anxiety, all I can tell you is that it was the right thing to do, and you have to see if she comes around or not. If she doesn’t, know that it’s not your fault.

And in the meantime — get some sleep.

[Member]

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