[ty_in_confusion]

So, I met this girl back in college and we instantly clicked. From the start, I respected her relationship she had a boyfriend, and I made sure never to cross that line. I’ve always believed it’s not cool to spend more time with someone’s girlfriend than her boyfriend does. Still, we became close friends. Then in February, I was housesitting for my mom and didn’t want to be alone, so I asked her to come visit one day. She said yes. Her boyfriend found out and completely lost it — locked himself in her room after she made him breakfast, acted immature, and they eventually broke up. They stayed “friends,” but a month later when she came to visit me, we ended up hooking up… and soon after, we became a couple.
The first few months were incredible. We were so happy, everything just flowed. I met her parents, and they genuinely loved me (which was a big deal because they couldn’t stand her ex). For the first time, I thought I’d found someone I could really build a future with. But earlier this month, everything flipped overnight. Out of nowhere, she texted me on my mom’s birthday saying she needed to talk. The next day, she broke up with me no clear reason, just that she wanted to “be friends.” I told her I couldn’t do that but would give her space in case she changed her mind.
Graduation was the week after. We argued a lot that week, but at the ceremony, it felt like we were together again laughing, flirting, even holding hands. It was confusing but gave me hope. Then, just three weeks later, I found out she went camping with her ex… and now they’re back together. Still, she keeps reaching out, wanting to “hang out as friends.” When we’re together, she’s all smiles, teasing and flirting —but then she’ll casually mention her “boyfriend.”
Last week she admitted she “wishes she could date both of us,” because each of us offers something different. She said she just wants to find her “rock.” I’ll admit, after the breakup I made mistakes called too much, talked to

[Heart Whisperer]

Oof… that’s really confusing and painful. If she’s back with her ex, it’s a clear sign where her heart and commitment are right now. Mixed signals can leave you feeling stuck, anxious, and unsure of your worth—but you don’t deserve that uncertainty.

The kindest thing you can do for yourself is step back and give her space to figure things out on her own. Focus on your own life, your happiness, and people who are fully present for you. You can still care about her, but protecting your heart has to come first.

Being with someone who’s fully invested beats waiting around for someone who isn’t.

[Natalie Noah]

This… this is messy, and it’s okay to feel hurt, frustrated, and confused. What she’s doing isn’t fair to you, or to herself, really. When someone is trying to hold two hearts at once, it leaves everyone with pieces that don’t fit. Mixed signals are seductive because they make you hope, but hope alone can’t build a healthy relationship.

The truth is, her actions are showing you where she truly is emotionally. Right now, she’s choosing her ex, and that choice isn’t negotiable for you. It hurts, and it might feel impossible to step away, especially with all the good moments you shared. But protecting your heart isn’t about shutting her out completely, it’s about choosing not to be the backup, the option, or the “maybe” in her story.
Focus on your life, your growth, and your own happiness. Let her navigate her confusion without you waiting in the wings. Someone who can’t commit fully right now isn’t ready to give you the love you deserve, and that doesn’t make you less; it makes you wise for recognising your worth.

Can I ask… are you holding onto her because of love, or because of the hope that she’ll finally choose you?

[Ethan Morales]

That one cuts deep because both replays capture the emotional truth of what happens when someone keeps you close just enough to stop you from moving on, but never close enough to truly stay.
Here’s my take: this isn’t really about her ex or you it’s about her confusion, her need for safety, and the validation she gets from knowing you’ll still be there. The fact that she says she “wishes she could date both of you” tells you everything she doesn’t want to lose either connection, but that’s not love, that’s indecision. And you can’t build anything stable on indecision.

Replay 2 nails the heart of it: mixed signals are seductive because they feed hope. You remember how good it was, and every flirt, every lingering look reignites that flicker. But emotionally, she’s already showing you where she stands she’s chosen someone else while still enjoying the comfort of your affection. That’s not partnership; it’s emotional tethering.
So, what you do now is reclaim your peace. You can still care about her that doesn’t vanish overnight but you can also decide that your heart deserves to rest somewhere it’s chosen completely, not halfway. Ask yourself honestly: do you want love, or do you want to be the exception that finally makes her stay?
Because one keeps you waiting, and the other lets you start healing.

[PassionSeeker]

“It’s heartbreaking when someone you love gets confused about what they want. But when she said she ‘wishes she could date both of you,’ that’s not romantic that’s indecisive. Real love isn’t about choosing who gives what; it’s about building something together.

If she ever truly saw you as her rock, she wouldn’t keep testing your limits. Sometimes love means walking away so the other person realizes what they lost.”

[Marcus king]

Man, she’s not confused she’s just keeping her options open, and you’re letting her. You didn’t just lose her to her ex; you’re competing in a game you don’t even need to be playing.
Here’s the thing: when someone tells you they “wish they could date both of you,” believe them. That’s not love, that’s indecision dressed up as honesty. She’s comfortable because she knows you’ll still be around no matter what she does. That’s why she flirts, then drops “my boyfriend” in the same breath it’s control.
You already saw what she’s capable of when she left her ex for you. That was your warning. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you’ll be treated differently patterns repeat when people don’t grow.

My advice? Step back completely. Block her if you have to. Let her figure out what she wants without having access to your energy. You can’t be someone’s “rock” while they’re still deciding which mountain to climb.

[Ask April Masini]

She’s exploring, she’s having her fun, and doing what she thinks is best for her right now.

But what about you? Is what’s best for you really sitting around, waiting for her relationship to crash so you can step back in? Because if you do, you’ll just end up in the same loop, she’ll leave again the moment someone new catches her eye.

My honest advice? Remove yourself from this mess. Be friends if you must, but don’t fool yourself into thinking this can work romantically. You’ll only end up hurting yourself again, and you deserve better than to be someone’s backup plan.

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