[AloneintheWest]

I live in a very isolated area of Wyoming, and there really isn’t a large dating pool. Last July, I met a charming, beautiful, intelligent girl when visiting Denver. We clicked right away, and have kept a regular correspondence with her to this day. We’ve become very closer friends – she’s said on multiple occasions how much I mean to her – despite only meeting that one time in person.
We both suggested a relationship at various points; me first, then she a few months later. We both decided against it, only because of the great distance between us. Well she recently got into a relationship, and I am very upset. I still have very strong feelings for her. But I’m curious as to her feelings . . .
On the one hand, she seems very happy. Lots of Facebook posts about her new bf and she told me how he respects her and all that. I have told her I’m happy for her – and I genuinely am. But on the other hand, Sshe’s very committed to us staying as close as before, saying she thinks the world of me and wants to get closer yet. She even told me she wants to see me more than her bf, since she can see him any time.
I’m planning to visit her in a few weeks. My question: what should I do, or expect? I still have feelings for her, and she really wants to see me? Is there hope of rekindling those sparks or am I setting myself up for a fall?

Thank you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Long distance relationships are tough! I think that since this is the second time you’ll be seeing her in seven months, and she’s got a boyfriend, the meeting could go either way. A lot of which way it goes depends on how you set up that meeting. If it’s a date, then you should tell her you want to take her on a proper date and book a restaurant dinner so there’s no mistaking your intentions. If you slide into the friend zone because you don’t make your intentions clear, it’s more likely that you’re going to stay in the friend zone, long distance. My suggestion is to go for the date. 😎 Since you had a good time together in July, there’s a chance she’s interested to see how you feel and what kind of spark there is. She’s looking to you to take the lead. 😉

As for setting yourself up for a fall — just be realistic. Two dates in seven months doesn’t bode well for a long distance relationship, however… stranger things have happened. Just understand your odds. If things do go well and you do want to pursue her, know the realistic possibilities of in person dating time. If you can’t afford the time or money to visit regularly, you may be setting yourself up for a fall by trying to make it work on love alone. I hope this helps.

Let me know how things go — or if you have any other questions.

[Member]

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