Hello April and this forum
My ex girlfriend from high school decided to give me a friend request.
Background: She was last serious girlfriend. We went out for almost 2 years. I haven’t had a serious relationship after here which was 8 years ago. I’ve built up a wall, have a fear of commitment and insecure with myself to get into a relationship with a girl because of the stress I had in that relationship. I broke it off with her b/c I was getting bored and I wanted a break, but after a couple of weeks, I wanted to get back with her..but she didn’t want to. Then a couple of months after that, she went to this place where we were suppose to meet on our anniversary if we ever broke it up. A pact we made if we ever broke it off and if we still had feelings for each other we would meet each other there. She goes to that place and I don’t show up b/c it probably slipped thru my mind.
I’ve been going to nightclubs for the past 7 years and I just recently quit about a year ago b/c it’s all the same thing. I’ve messed with a couple of girls but nothing serious materialized out of it. I resorted to alcohol when I was at the nightclubs to help me get stress off my mind and maybe to suppress my feelings for her? I’m not sure. I’ve cutback tremendously on the alcohol and emotions are flooding and I’ve been reflective on my life. I did some analyze on myself and everything I’m saying on this post is b/c I’ve quit alcohol recently to come to this conclusion of why I am the way I am today.
I still think about her once in a while. I’m not sure if I still have feelings for her…or maybe I miss having a girlfriend. She was only real long lasting relationship I ever had. I’m afraid if I add her, the feelings may come back cause I’ve recently just been thinking about getting over her and wanting closure. We never really had closure or talked about our relationship and why we broke up.
She’s been with the same guy for 7-8 years now. The boyfriend after me…and if I add her…I don’t want to see the pictures of them together or look at her updates and I don’t want to hide her post either. I wish I could talk to her and get closure, but at the same time, I don’t want to bring back a subject that is bothering me for the past 8 years and she’s in a happy relationship I think…or maybe they broke up. I haven’t kept up to date with her. Sometimes I think I haven’t moved on.
What are my options here?
#1. Add her on facebook and just ignore her?
#2. Add her and then message her and tell her how I feel?
#3. Ignore the request and tell her why I can’t add her b/c of my feelings?
#4. Add her and just play it cool like nothing is bothering and live my depressed love life and be alone forever to keep her happy?
#5 … unknown….
