[Sarah]

Hi,
I’m in desperate need of some advice. Basically, I’ve been out w this guy I like twice but we’ve been talking over fb for 2 wks. I saw him Sat night I could tell he liked me but there was no kiss-just him having his arm around me. Up to then I didn’t know if he liked me. He’s really shy and hard to read.

So we went out Tuesday. At first he said he wanted to but couldn’t cause he had work @ 6am and it was already 11pm. But he mentioned he was hoping we could go out this wknd. I didn’t really say anything cause I wanted to see him tues. He sounded like he really wanted to see me on tues though so he checked his schedule. He didn’t have to be in till 8 so I went over his house.

Anyway I thought it went pretty well and he was pretty affectionate while I was there. He did kiss me for the first time (we made out for like 10 mins, nothing big) and when I left he said ‘see you soon’. So lately after that he hasn’t really been answering my messages as quickly as before (it’ll take a day as opposed to maybe 30 min to 4 hrs before depending if he was on). I thanked him for having me over and said I had fun. He didn’t mention anything about it. I just asked him casually what he’s doing for the wknd- he hasn’t answered yet. Anyway my question is, if he doesn’t ask me out, should I ask him if he wants to go this wknd? Cause he did say he was hoping to hang out this weekend, but that was before Tuesday. So I’m not sure if Tuesday like substituted for the weekend?? I’m also thinking maybe he’s afraid to ask because I didn’t say yes or no when he said he was hoping to hang out this weekend. He admitted he’s shy when it comes to women.

So would it be bad to just nonchalantly in my next message be like “Oh btw, did you still want to go out to a movie or something this weekend? If not, it’s totally fine, I just wasn’t sure”? Or should I just forget it and assume he’s lost interest? I really don’t want to come off as too eager or desperate/clingy. I’ve done that in the past and pushed guys away. Idk he’s probably lost interest anyway :/

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I think that in general guys like to do the chasing, so after your makeout session at his house, I think you should stop texting and emailing him and let him do some of the work. If he wants to see you, you’ll know it. Guys that are interested tend to make their presence known. If he isn’t contacting you, you should assume he isn’t interested and let it go. You already mentioned that he didn’t respond to your question about what he is doing over the weekend. Take that as your cue to stop contacting him. I think you know the answer to your question but you are waiting for someone else to tell you anyway: you are coming across as clingy and desperate. 😕 You can do better for yourself than that. Focus on your life and your friends and let this go. You are coming across as too available so he is treating you as such, saying “see you soon” which is purposely vague and non-committal.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Boy — [b]Janie8[/b] couldn’t have said it better! Men want to be the ones who pursue their women. When you start contacting him after a date or worse, asking him out, you take that opportunity for him to do what he feels best doing, away from him. Men want to feel like they’ve chased, captured and won their prize women. When you throw yourself at him by contacting him and asking him out, you’re making yourself the booby prize. 😳

I hope you’ll spend the $15.95 to buy Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], which is a book I wrote for women with this rule and lots of other tips and pieces of advice that will help you win in the dating game.

In the meantime, stop contacting him and DON’T ask him out. You’ll definite appear clingy, desperate, and worse, the booby prize that any guy could get rather than a blue ribbon first prize that he has to work and feel good about winning. 😉

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

[Member]

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