[Anonymous]

I will start off by telling you that this is about a bdsm relationship. So if that offends you I apologize.

me and my bf/dom met april2009. we met up actually met met july 2009. we of course chatted/talked and got to kno each other over this time. well im going to college where i am, and he is living where he does. so starting that fall he came to visit me. i had an apartment so it was okay, when i went to visit him we got a hotel room for a couple of days.

in november 2009 he tells me by phone he loves me. took me a good couple of weeks to say it back to him but i eventually did. december 2009 we began dating. at this point we didnt know of each others bdsm sides. i kno i hinted at it with would u wanna do this, that, etc. comes feb 2010 vday goes great. soon after that we go to the beach for a week. it was a lil rough. 1st time we spent that long together but it was good.

then after that he comes to visit me and during that visit decides to ask me to marry him. i said wtf? no. he kept on mentioning kids, family etc after that. i was in the middle of one of the hardest semesters of trying to get my chemistry degree and was seriously overwhelmed by it and his irrational attachment to me in all this (we had only dated for 3months or so).

so near the end of april i went to visit him. i had a research paper for english, 2 lab reports, and a test to study. i took the work with me so i could hopefully get some of it done. I was ecstatic bout seeing him cuz last time was when he asked to marry me (end of march).

i get there, he is late bout picking me up. we go to the hotel. im exhausted cuz i had been up from 5am doing work and class. then he decides to take us to wal mart to walk around for 3 hours with his friend for fun (i thinking wtf?) then we go back an all i wanna do is sleep but no we must have sex etc. we thats okay. he has to get up 8am to help someone move in and leaves me there. planning to come back later on so we could take his brother to get a tattoo. my phone dies cuz i forgot to charge it the night b4. so when he tried calling me to tell me he was on his way back to get me i didnt get it. so instead of just comin on an gettin me he decides they gonna go without me.

so here it comes that i wake up at 1230ish, alone and all. i eventually figure out what happened and of course upset that he just left me out. but i make the best and decide to do homework. thats when i realize i am starving and that i have no way of going anywhere for bite bites…so i have to order take out. he gets back finally at 4pm. then we have to go drive around town, go to food lion to get stuff for a bonfire with the same friend from the night before. well we went to the bonfire and stayed out until like 3am there (it was freezing an i kept tellin him i wanted to go). once again wanted sex when we got back. next morn get up and go. i was suppose to get a bus back to school (its a 3 hour ride) that came at 3pm. well i wasnt feeling that way and told him that. he wanted to go to his parents house and get something so i was like i will stay in the car. then i was like lets just go to the bus station and wait there. that way we could just have that hour or 2 to ourselves to talk an all. we went there and parked. i needed to go to the bthrm cuz i felt like i was gonna vomit (which i did). while i was in there i got a call and had to answer it. he tried callin but i was already talkin so i didnt answer. i go back out and as i just finish the call as i get to the car. i get in feeling so much better wanting to have that talk time.

he basically ignored me and started to look at sports off his phone. i was like ok let me be interested and tried to talk to him about that. when that didnt work i was like why r u ignoring me? well then it comes out he was upset i didnt answer his call cuz it made him so worried, he was also upset that i didnt voluntarily out of the blue give him head as we were driving around town the day b4, then why i didnt go into his parents house with him, why i seem so upset?

I tried talking to him telling him how upset i was, how much work i had to do, i said i was sorry for him being worried etc, i didnt know he wanted head otherwise i would have. he just kept whining and all. it got talking about how much we hated the distance and all. then he was just like we fought so much over vacation and then this weekend too etc. im sorry but i just couldnt handle the pity party and stress from my own life anymore. so i said well if u dont think we can have fun together or get along then maybe we shouldnt be together (during which i had tears streaming down my face). he took it as we broke up.

so for the next week we didnt talk but then we did. i knew i loved him. all i wanted was him to talk to me and us destress together and all. but we agreed to take things slower, to work on things, and make sure we wouldnt have problems like we did again.

so that summer 2010 even though i had 3 summer classes i did just that. at the begin of june he came to visit me. thats when he first mention d/s. said one of his friends wanted him to be her dom but he wasnt gonna do it. just wanted to monitor and make sure she was safe. i have awesome instincts and knew something was wrong. well then he missed his bus. however a friend of his said she could meet us halfway. cool then! perfect actually. so we met her at a mall, i said hey she said hey and all. the following months i went to see him every other weekend..most of the time in which i paid for where we stayed. that was fine cuz i felt awful for hurting him by breaking up with him earlier. well fall came and i had school. so i couldnt be going on weekends to see him like i was. i begged and asked him to come and see me for months.

he finally did at the beginning of november. in which he brought his friend who drove them and stayed with us (very intrusive). we had sex twice. once again instincts say something fucked up. he just said it was cuz he didnt want to make his friend feel isolated. shortly after we started dating again.

now i have many trust issues. like it takes me a very long time to even tell u my full name etc. so i asked him if he had been with any other girls and he said nope. said the same answer all 3 times i asked him. well i went to visit him for xmas..actually i drove us down to wilmington where we visited friends.

this is the b.s. i just happened to see his phone where he was texting a woman sexually and in the manner of how a dom does a sub. i was livid with anger. we did have a fight but i didnt tell him why. well after we went back home i just came out and was like do u wanna be in an open relationship. eventually was agreed on (at this point i knew the b.s. was about to start piling up). so we made rules: no past sex partners, no oral, protection always, and we tell the other all details.

then i tell him about how i have always been into bdsm (was actually a slave when i was 16). during this time is when he finally is like yea i actually took on a sub. then came the website (of which i was a member b4 i met him so it was kinda ironic lol). he asked if i was mad, i in shock was like nah. well then no more than 3 nights later he like can i get a foot job from her. i argued and was like the rules say no past partners. i got sick of his whining an was like w.e. rules were made to be broken i guess.

imma save the rest and tell u what all i have found out since then due to my suspicion and the fact that i do have trust issues. therefore, i do feel deeply betrayed and lied to.

they met september 2009 and had sex. she cheats on her husband with whoever. they apparently started their d/s relations springish 2010. they continued relations up til we decided to do an open relationship. one of his best friends (and a friend of mine) along with his brother knew of the whole thing. then recently i found out she did have a confirmed case of HPV. i received at least 6 messages on facebook from unknown people telling me that he was no good, cheater, liar etc

aight so why am i upset? first of all he lied all those times i asked. second of all he must have been texting prob at the least sexting her the whole time we were together. third, i met her in person and knew nothing while they both knew all. third, he had unprotected sex with her and me at the same time (during from what i have gathered she had the hpv). luckily i have had my gardisil shot and did not contract. fourth, his brother pretends to hate me cuz i hurt him yet probably laughs because i knew nothing of the lies. the unknown ppl on fb tried to warn me but i had to evidence to believe it off of. may i quote “he lies so much that he believes himself”. Once again, i do not deal with lies. Hell i once got into a fight with someone cuz they lied about doing a prank call from my phone. i am pissed that he hid all of that then has the nerve to think that i will be like yea its okay. i still trust you with any and all things.

i asked him not to have sexual contact with the sub anymore cuz the hpv had not been completely comfirmed as being gone. he denied to do so. i talked to him and he finally said well im sorry for it. let me just say sorry implies that you regret something. if you regret something then u wont do it again. maybe im wrong but i would think he would stop having the contact etc.

when i tried expressing myself about how i feel about her he just said i dont care about it. then again tonight i tried telling him why i am so hurt, and he just said ur beating a dead horse.

maybe i am wrong in all of this but anytime i mention at all at wanting a mentor, a playmate etc he gets so jealous. says i want everything that i have been relishing in just for me. not u 2 get to share those new things with someone else. the only guy he wanted me to play with was someone that he knew i was completely attracted to and turned off by.

i dont know where to go with this. i am a very vindictive person at times and i really with to pay him back. however the love i have for him still says no, dont hurt him. im not sure if i should end things or what. i want to be with him but as long as he still proudly claims his other sub, wants to play with her, talks with her more than he does me, and refuses to give her up…i cant believe that he is sorry, that he does want me as his wife, that i am the only one he loves, wants, and needs. I just keep hearing in my mind over and over, “he lies so much that he believes himself.”

I am into the lifestyle of the bdsm community and i am sorry if this offends your views or anything of the sort. I do wish to be his sub but I want to be his only one. Please let me know what you think I should do. Thank you for taking your time to read this 🙂

[uteclupfaurce]

I will start off by telling you that this is about a bdsm relationship. So if that offends you I apologize.

me and my bf/dom met april2009. we met up actually met met july 2009. we of course chatted/talked and got to kno each other over this time. well im going to college where i am, and he is living where he does. so starting that fall he came to visit me. i had an apartment so it was okay, when i went to visit him we got a hotel room for a couple of days. in november 2009 he tells me by phone he loves me. took me a good couple of weeks to say it back to him but i eventually did. december 2009 we began dating. at this point we didnt know of each others bdsm sides. i kno i hinted at it with would u wanna do this, that, etc. comes feb 2010 vday goes great. soon after that we go to the beach for a week. it was a lil rough. 1st time we spent that long together but it was good.then after that he comes to visit me and during that visit decides to ask me to marry him. i said wtf? no. he kept on mentioning kids, family etc after that. i was in the middle of one of the hardest semesters of trying to get my chemistry degree and was seriously overwhelmed by it and his irrational attachment to me in all this (we had only dated for 3months or so).so near the end of april i went to visit him. i had a research paper for english, 2 lab reports, and a test to study. i took the work with me so i could hopefully get some of it done. I was ecstatic bout seeing him cuz last time was when he asked to marry me (end of march).i get there, he is late bout picking me up. we go to the hotel. im exhausted cuz i had been up from 5am doing work and class. then he decides to take us to wal mart to walk around for 3 hours with his friend for fun (i thinking wtf?) then we go back an all i wanna do is sleep but no we must have sex etc. we thats okay. he has to get up 8am to help someone move in and leaves me there. planning to come back later on so we could take his brother to get a tattoo. my phone dies cuz i forgot to charge it the night b4. so when he tried calling me to tell me he was on his way back to get me i didnt get it. so instead of just comin on an gettin me he decides they gonna go without me. so here it comes that i wake up at 1230ish, alone and all. i eventually figure out what happened and of course upset that he just left me out. but i make the best and decide to do homework. thats when i realize i am starving and that i have no way of going anywhere for bite bites…so i have to order take out. he gets back finally at 4pm. then we have to go drive around town, go to food lion to get stuff for a bonfire with the same friend from the night before. well we went to the bonfire and stayed out until like 3am there (it was freezing an i kept tellin him i wanted to go). once again wanted sex when we got back. next morn get up and go. i was suppose to get a bus back to school (its a 3 hour ride) that came at 3pm. well i wasnt feeling that way and told him that. he wanted to go to his parents house and get something so i was like i will stay in the car. then i was like lets just go to the bus station and wait there. that way we could just have that hour or 2 to ourselves to talk an all. we went there and parked. i needed to go to the bthrm cuz i felt like i was gonna vomit (which i did). while i was in there i got a call and had to answer it. he tried callin but i was already talkin so i didnt answer. i go back out and as i just finish the call as i get to the car. i get in feeling so much better wanting to have that talk time.he basically ignored me and started to look at sports off his phone. i was like ok let me be interested and tried to talk to him about that. when that didnt work i was like why r u ignoring me? well then it comes out he was upset i didnt answer his call cuz it made him so worried, he was also upset that i didnt voluntarily out of the blue give him head as we were driving around town the day b4, then why i didnt go into his parents house with him, why i seem so upset?I tried talking to him telling him how upset i was, how much work i had to do, i said i was sorry for him being worried etc, i didnt know he wanted head otherwise i would have. he just kept whining and all. it got talking about how much we hated the distance and all. then he was just like we fought so much over vacation and then this weekend too etc. im sorry but i just couldnt handle the pity party and stress from my own life anymore. so i said well if u dont think we can have fun together or get along then maybe we shouldnt be together (during which i had tears streaming down my face). he took it as we broke up.so for the next week we didnt talk but then we did. i knew i loved him. all i wanted was him to talk to me and us destress together and all. but we agreed to take things slower, to work on things, and make sure we wouldnt have problems like we did again. so that summer 2010 even though i had 3 summer classes i did just that. at the begin of june he came to visit me. thats when he first mention d/s. said one of his friends wanted him to be her dom but he wasnt gonna do it. just wanted to monitor and make sure she was safe. i have awesome instincts and knew something was wrong. well then he missed his bus. however a friend of his said she could meet us halfway. cool then! perfect actually. so we met her at a mall, i said hey she said hey and all. the following months i went to see him every other weekend..most of the time in which i paid for where we stayed. that was fine cuz i felt awful for hurting him by breaking up with him earlier. well fall came and i had school. so i couldnt be going on weekends to see him like i was. i begged and asked him to come and see me for months. he finally did at the beginning of november. in which he brought his friend who drove them and stayed with us (very intrusive). we had sex twice. once again instincts say something fucked up. he just said it was cuz he didnt want to make his friend feel isolated. shortly after we started dating again. now i have many trust issues. like it takes me a very long time to even tell u my full name etc. so i asked him if he had been with any other girls and he said nope. said the same answer all 3 times i asked him. well i went to visit him for xmas..actually i drove us down to wilmington where we visited friends.this is the b.s. i just happened to see his phone where he was texting a woman sexually and in the manner of how a dom does a sub. i was livid with anger. we did have a fight but i didnt tell him why. well after we went back home i just came out and was like do u wanna be in an open relationship. eventually was agreed on (at this point i knew the b.s. was about to start piling up). so we made rules: no past sex partners, no oral, protection always, and we tell the other all details.then i tell him about how i have always been into bdsm (was actually a slave when i was 16). during this time is when he finally is like yea i actually took on a sub. then came the website (of which i was a member b4 i met him so it was kinda ironic lol). he asked if i was mad, i in shock was like nah. well then no more than 3 nights later he like can i get a foot job from her. i argued and was like the rules say no past partners. i got sick of his whining an was like w.e. rules were made to be broken i guess. imma save the rest and tell u what all i have found out since then due to my suspicion and the fact that i do have trust issues. therefore, i do feel deeply betrayed and lied to. they met september 2009 and had sex. she cheats on her husband with whoever. they apparently started their d/s relations springish 2010. they continued relations up til we decided to do an open relationship. one of his best friends (and a friend of mine) along with his brother knew of the whole thing. then recently i found out she did have a confirmed case of HPV. i received at least 6 messages on facebook from unknown people telling me that he was no good, cheater, liar etcaight so why am i upset? first of all he lied all those times i asked. second of all he must have been texting prob at the least sexting her the whole time we were together. third, i met her in person and knew nothing while they both knew all. third, he had unprotected sex with her and me at the same time (during from what i have gathered she had the hpv). luckily i have had my gardisil shot and did not contract. fourth, his brother pretends to hate me cuz i hurt him yet probably laughs because i knew nothing of the lies. the unknown ppl on fb tried to warn me but i had to evidence to believe it off of. may i quote “he lies so much that he believes himself”. Once again, i do not deal with lies. Hell i once got into a fight with someone cuz they lied about doing a prank call from my phone. i am pissed that he hid all of that then has the nerve to think that i will be like yea its okay. i still trust you with any and all things.i asked him not to have sexual contact with the sub anymore cuz the hpv had not been completely comfirmed as being gone. he denied to do so. i talked to him and he finally said well im sorry for it. let me just say sorry implies that you regret something. if you regret something then u wont do it again. maybe im wrong but i would think he would stop having the contact etc. when i tried expressing myself about how i feel about her he just said i dont care about it. then again tonight i tried telling him why i am so hurt, and he just said ur beating a dead horse.maybe i am wrong in all of this but anytime i mention at all at wanting a mentor, a playmate etc he gets so jealous. says i want everything that i have been relishing in just for me. not u 2 get to share those new things with someone else. the only guy he wanted me to play with was someone that he knew i was completely attracted to and turned off by. i dont know where to go with this. i am a very vindictive person at times and i really with to pay him back. however the love i have for him still says no, dont hurt him. im not sure if i should end things or what. i want to be with him but as long as he still proudly claims his other sub, wants to play with her, talks with her more than he does me, and refuses to give her up…i cant believe that he is sorry, that he does want me as his wife, that i am the only one he loves, wants, and needs. I just keep hearing in my mind over and over, “he lies so much that he believes himself.”I am into the lifestyle of the bdsm community and i am sorry if this offends your views or anything of the sort. I do wish to be his sub but I want to be his only one. Please let me know what you think I should do. Thank you for taking your time to read this

[Ask April Masini]

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