[hiswifey]

My husband and I have been together for just over 3 years and married for two years. He lived with me at the beginning of our relationship and always used my computer while I was at work. I found many links to different porn sights. I confronted him about it, saying that I wasn’t comfortable with him looking at it, especially on my computer. He stopped (or so it seemed) and I forgot about it. Just over a year ago, I got on his work computer, because mine was broken. The new Google chrome displays the most recently viewed websites that you have been on. Again, there were two porn sights on there. I confronted him once again, and he said it was some of his employees at work that had been on his computer. I didn’t believe it, but I let it go. Now, just recently, I went to google something on his phone and his recent searches show that he actually looked up different sex scenes with specific women. I am very hurt and upset. I have told him multiple times that I am uncomfortable with him looking at these sites. It makes me feel like I am not enough for him and that I am not sexually attractive to him anymore. I haven’t gained more than 5 pounds since we first met, but I feel like I’m somehow not “doing it” for him anymore. Should I care so much???

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, it seems pretty clear that you telling him not to watch porn isn’t working. So you might as well quit banging your head against the wall.

Second, understand that men are visual in a way that women aren’t. They get turned on and enjoy looking at images that are beautiful and even sexual in a way that most women don’t. Decide if his porn use is an addiction or an aberration (children, animals, etc.) — or if it’s just a past time that you can live with.

Third, and maybe most importantly, it sounds like the big problem here is that you feel inadequate. I think this may be the root of the problem. My advice is to get to work on those five extra pounds — and be glad it’s only five extra pounds! Start working on building a hotter sex life. It’s easy to let things slide once you’re married and to forget about taking care of yourself. Make sure you have a sexy lingerie drawer and that you use it! 😎

I have a book called Romantic Date Ideas that is a great read for you to figure out how to spice up your sex life. Here’s the link to get that book: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url]. All you may need is a little reassurance in the bedroom to make you not give a hoot about his past time.

Let me know if that helps — and how things go. You can follow me on Twitter @AskAprilcom, and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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