[Anonymous]

This is a texting conversation between me and my ex I know this is long but please help me April.I’m going crazy
One night my ex texted me . I had told him the day before if we could not talk the next day since I was on vacation and wanted to spend time with my family he seemed to get upset with this request and so we had gone the whole day without txting and at night he texted and heres how it goes
Him: Hey
Me: Hey How was your day
Him: My day was so great!urs.
Me: I’ m glad your day was so great mine was fine.
Me: Then I told him something funny I can’t remember now but he said haha
Him: I have a question.
Me: Ask!
Him: What if you were pregnant?
Me:I mean it would be bad. At this point but if I am I’m not going to have an abortion.
Me:What would happen if I was
Him: It would be a major problem my mom would kick me out and kill me.
Me:Well I don’t know if I am yet.
Him: How do you not know yet
Me: um because its too early to tell.
Him:What if you were and we broke up.
This question hurt me so bad because he has always said that I was the one and that he wanted to marry me one day. So it hurt me and I
kind of got defensive.
Me:Well you know what You could just run away.My child and I would do fine on our own.
Him: damn I was just asking a question.
i asked this next question because he oftentimes changes his mind like he will say one day he wants children and then turn around and say he doesn’t
Me: Why do you change so much one minute your lovey dovey, one minute you want this one minute you want something else, one minute your
one way and then the next minute your another way. Why do you have to change so much?
Him: because I can change.
me:I can’t remember what I said next but then he didn’t text me for like ten minutes so I said
me: Ok goodnight then
Him: Well damn I was just wondering.
Him: You argue too much.
Me: I’m not arguing I am telling you how I feel, I’m sorry if you think I’m being mean , but I am just telling
you what I think and your so defensive that you can’t see that.
Him:I can’t put up with much more of this.
Then he said
Him:I think I need a break kind of like the one you wanted except for a month
me:Yea I wanted a break for a day to not text. So I could spend time with my family and not be so distracted by my phone.
I just wanted to take time for myself. to go tan , lay by the pool read a book.
I said this because we constantly text when I’m away. I was away on vacation with family I don’t get to see that often and he thought I should
just give him my attention the whole time.He even asked me to come home early.
Him: well i need a month.
me: well this time I’m not going to sit around and cry like last time. I’m going to go out and have fun.
* he had broke up with me a time before over his insecurities.
Him: Maybe we should just break up then.
Me: yea I guess we should take a permanent break
I did not mean this I was just really upset at the time
Me:I am not going to sit around and hurt and cry over you like last time I can do better
Him:If you can do better go right ahead.
Me: It just hurts to much.when you act like you care about me and then take it back.
Me:What made you change mind from yesterday until now.
Him: I don’t want to hurt you. I want to be your friend. Then he said give ben a shot he likes you.
This was a slap in the face because ben is my guy friend and he was always so jealous about him and now he was telling me to go be with him.When I just
wanted to be with him.
then I simply said
me: ok
him: ok about being friends.
Me: yea I dont’t care.
Him well after tonight I probably won’t talk to you for awhile.
Him: well I’m going to bed I had a really long day.
then I didn’t text back and now it’s been almost a month since we broke up and we went out for quite a while, but the thing is that I can’t move on I feel so guilty and I know I shouldn’t because he was always insecure and all , but i always think what if .I heard from a mutual friend that one night he was passed out drunk and I just miss him alot.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I remember you writing me about this situation under a different name on this forum. For future, if you use the same name and keep your posts linked — if they’re on the same subject, like this one is, I can give you more thorough advice! 🙂

I’m sorry you feel badly. I’m not sure why you feel guilty or what you think you did wrong. ❓ It sounds like this break up didn’t come out of the blue, but instead was brewing for some time. You were both picking at each other passive aggressively under the surface without coming out and saying what was on your minds. If you had, you would have gotten to this same point, but a lot faster.

The best thing you can do is to stop analyzing old text conversations, and try to focus your energy on yourself and on new things or rejuvenating things. Exercise and keep the endorphins going and eat well and take care of yourself. This isn’t the guy for you, and while you may have been fond of you, he isn’t Mr. Right — but Mr. RIght [i]IS[/i] out there and your job now is to find him! 🙂

[Anonymous]

I feel guilty I think because I feel like If I had said something different that maybe we would still be together and I know it wasn’t my fault , but I still can’t stop thinking. After our breakup I guess he thought I would just run back to him , but I’m not that kind of girl so I just didn’t talk to him and now I feel bad about that too. I don’t know maybe I am being too hard on myself. If he still cares about me and wants to be friends I guess he knows where to find me right!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Right. He does know where to find you. Take his month of silence for what it is — your cue to move on and use what you’ve learned in this relationship to evolve so that your next relationship is even better.

I hope that helps!

Join me on Facebook — I hope to see you there! Here’s the link: [url][/url]! 😀

[Member]

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