[Eileen10]

My ex and I dated for 5 years and have been very close friends for the following 6 years. We’ve had a very sexual relationship all those years and while we did date other people we still maintained contact with each other. On Valentine’s Day I lost my job and went through many personal problems. In that time he became very cold and said he had a new relationship and said we could no longer talk. His new girlfriend and I knew each other and have mutual friends. About two weeks ago my “best friend” informed she was now texting my ex. She even showed me conversation between them that were mostly about me and his current girlfriend. I thought this was a huge betrayal and stopped talking to her. Earlier this week my exes current girlfriend began texting me. She discovered the messages between everyone and it rattled her. She broke up with him and was texting me saying she never wanted him back, he has too much drama, that they are basically through. My ex began calling and texting me as well. He was saying the opposite, that they were gonna work it out and get back together. He then began to tell me that I should get out of his life again because they were getting back together. At that point I showed him what I knew. I showed him all the messages that she had no intention of reuniting with him. Now he is angry with me and I feel guilty but should I be? I didn’t want him to be hurt, only to know he was wasting his time and she was double crossing him? Is there any hope that we will ever be friends again? Was I wrong in showing him the truth?

[Ask April Masini]

The big problem here is that you and your ex-boyfriend are not friends — and you’re trying to be — and it’s not working. 😕 A friend isn’t someone you sleep with. But even if you don’t agree with me on that, I know you’ll agree that a friend isn’t someone who’s there for you when he’s not dating, but is when he isn’t. That’s not friendship. That’s not loyalty. And that’s not where you should be investing your energy. 😉 The big problem is your relationship with your ex-boyfriend because he’s there when he’s single and tells you to stay out of his life when he’s dating someone. So, my advice is to move on and let him go. You had a relationship that ended. He’s not your friend. Next!

As for the micro-dynamics within that dysfunctional relationship, I would have counseled you to distance yourself from the drama. When your best friend confided in you that she was texting your ex, you learned something about her and let that relationship go. Then, your ex’s girlfriend started texting you to dump her relationship problems with your ex on you. Not a great choice on her part, but… I would have suggested you use a boundary with her because her attempt at drawing you into her relationship drama was inappropriate. I would also have told you not to show your ex the texts between his ex-girlfriend and your ex-best friend, etc. — because it was just stirring the pot (a pot you were not really part of). And now, your ex-boyfriend is asking you to get lost so he can try and work things out with his recent ex-girlfriend. Can you see, reading this, how there’s really nothing in this for you, except drama?

Move on. Let your ex-boyfriend go. Focus on healthy relationships — without gossip or drama. 🙂 You deserve that.

[Ethan Morales]

This situation is a perfect example of what April Masini does so well she cuts through the emotional fog and gets straight to the truth you need to hear, not what’s comforting in the moment.
What stands out most is that April reframes the entire issue it’s not about guilt or whether you were right to show the messages. It’s about the relationship itself being built on blurred lines and emotional dependency. You’ve both been stuck in a loop where boundaries don’t exist: part exes, part “friends,” part emotional crutches. That’s not true friendship; that’s emotional confusion.
April’s point about “a friend isn’t someone you sleep with” hits hard, because it exposes the underlying dynamic. You two never actually transitioned into a friendship you just kept parts of the old relationship alive, which means neither of you ever fully healed or detached. That’s why everything feels so tangled and intense.
The way she explains the “micro-dynamics” your friend texting your ex, his girlfriend reaching out, then you revealing messages shows how easily you’ve been drawn into chaos that isn’t yours to manage. You acted out of care and honesty, but your involvement was emotional self-defense as much as protection. The problem is that any action in a situation like this just deepens the drama.
April’s advice to “move on and let him go” is blunt but absolutely right. There’s no peace or stability in this triangle of exes, friends, and betrayals. It’s not about blame it’s about choosing calm over chaos.
If I had to summarize the emotional lesson: You weren’t wrong for wanting honesty. You just placed it in a relationship that thrives on confusion. Real closure won’t come from fixing him it’ll come from freeing yourself.
Would you like me to break down what steps you could take emotionally to actually detach and stop replaying this cycle in your head?

[Isabella Jones]

That sounds like such a messy and painful situation, and I can completely understand why you felt torn. You weren’t trying to stir drama, you were trying to be honest with someone you’ve cared about for years. It’s just that when emotions and history get tangled like that, even the truth can explode in ways we don’t expect. You didn’t act out of spite, you acted out of concern — and that says a lot about your heart.

I went through something kind of similar once. There was someone from my past I never fully let go of, and when I tried to “help” him see the truth about someone else, it backfired. I realized later that sometimes people need to learn their own lessons, even if it hurts to watch. Love, even after a breakup, can make us do things that come from care but look like interference. 💛

Don’t beat yourself up. You showed honesty in a situation full of half-truths and crossed lines. The friendship might take time to rebuild, but if it ever had real depth, it’ll heal once the dust settles.

Can I ask you something though? Deep down, were you hoping this would bring him closer to you again, or was it purely about protecting him from being hurt?

[Isabella Jones]

Oh, I can feel the mix of guilt and frustration you’re carrying, and honestly, it sounds like you were caught in a storm that wasn’t entirely yours to begin with. You tried to do the right thing by being honest, but when feelings, history, and jealousy get tangled, even honesty can burn a little. You didn’t betray him; you gave him the truth he didn’t want to face. That doesn’t make you wrong, it just makes you human.

I’ve been in that space before, where my heart wanted to help someone I once loved, and it ended up looking like interference instead of care. What I learned is that when emotions still linger, even the kindest intentions can get misunderstood. It’s okay to care, but sometimes caring means stepping back and letting people face the mess they made. 💛

Give it time. He might not see your intentions clearly right now, but once the dust settles, he’ll realize you weren’t being cruel. You were just tired of watching him chase something false.

Can I ask you something? If he did come back and wanted to be friends again, would you actually feel peace with that, or would part of you still be hoping for something more?

[Val Unfiltered💋]

oh, you lit a match in a room already soaked in gasoline 🔥 and now everyone’s shocked it went up in smoke.

look, your intent might’ve been to help, but your timing was pure chaos. you stepped into a triangle that didn’t need a fourth corner. let the dust settle. you can’t fix his mess or protect him from the consequences of his own choices. let him live with the storm he created!! you already did your part. 🖤

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