[Shelley55]

My sister passed away 6 months ago. I ran into her old boyfriend from about 20 years ago a couple weeks ago. We talked a bit about my sister and he asked me to lunch. I went and we had a nice time – catching up – when he and my sister dated, we all had common friends and did a few things together. He was always a very good man – my sister had addiction problems and he could not deal with the problems anymore.

He has now asked me to a picnic. I do want to go. My father has no problem with it and my good friends see no problem. I, of course, would not be going out with him if my sister was still here. He probably would not have asked me, either!

I am a good person and have a good, happy life. I am missing a “special” someone in my life. Do I take the chance that it could be him? I did not seek him out at all and was quite surprised when he asked me to a picnic.

What do you all think? (Oh by the way, I am quite an adult – 55 and he is 54.)

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you should go. You haven’t mentioned any reason not to go, so I’m thinking you’re feeling that you’re betraying your late sister by dating her ex-boyfriend. You’re not. This situation actually happens more often than you’d think and it’s okay for you to date this guy. Expect a few raised eyebrows — and smile right through them. 😉

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[Shelley55]

I have gone out with him. Friday we went for dinner, Saturday to a festival and Sunday to a picnic. He is such a nice, kind man – he always was. I actually feel extremely comfortable with him and the more I get to know him, I like him more. He has been extremely polite and on Sunday, when he left, he just gave me a quick smooch. Nothing dramatic. I think I am going to keep seeing him. And I can see that he is very comfortable with me also.

I guess it makes me happy as I am smiling as I write this. This is an unusual situation, as I know we would not be going out if my sister was alive. That just sounds so odd to me, as she and I were very close. It just feels like we “found” each other.

As for my other sisters, poo poo to them. I cannot go through life worrying about them and their thoughts on what I do. I usually do not care, but this is such an unusual situation.

I am still smiling, though.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m glad I was able to help! 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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