[LindsayTate303]

Okay so the background information for this is a really long story but it’s important. I am a 22 year old girl in my first year of graduate school. For the better part of my childhood my dad was a textbook alcoholic. I can remember many nights that I would wait up all night for him up come home. He and my mother divorced when I was 13 years old and then he really went off the deep end and was constantly drinking. When I was 16 he got arrested again for drinking while driving and my family refused to bail him out again. So he went to court and got court ordered to a rehab facility. The program he was ordered to was a year long and Christian based. My family is Christian so this was a good thing in our eyes but we had seen him try several other rehabs before and they never worked so we were skeptical. It turned out he was really serious about it and he completed the program without a single hiccup. He did so well that the facility asked him to work full time for them as a counselor and manager of one of their stores(the program owns 5 thrift stores where the students work to pay their room and board while in the program). So that has been about 5 years ago and he is still working there today. My dad and I have become extremely close since he sobered up but I rarely get to see him because I am away at school. Over the summer when I was home I spent a lot of time at my dad’s store to spend time with him. And that’s where my situation kind of begins. One day while I was at the store I met one of the students named Luke. Now I should preface this by saying I have always sworn off any relationship with any guy with an addiction because of what I dealt with growing up. But I thought Luke was cute so I talked to him for a little bit but it didn’t go pass that. The program that the guys are in is a very strict one. They live and work at the facility. They are not allowed to go home except for 1 weekend every month after which they are drug tested. So I talked with Luke who is a year older than me and thought he was actually a really cool guy despite the stigma I had attached to those with addiction issues. However, it was time for me to go back to school so I quickly forgot about him. A couple of weeks later I was really surprised when he added me on Facebook. He was on his weekend pass and he got my number and we talked all weekend. I really started to like him and he told me he liked me too. The problem is he wouldn’t graduate the program for another 5 months and therefore we couldn’t be together. That didn’t stop is from talking though. The students are also allowed to have their cell phone for an hour after church every Sunday so we would talk every Sunday. The next month when he went on pass again we decided to see each other. He came to my apartment(I’m about 3 hours away from his home) and we just watched a movie and he kissed me at the end of the night. The next day we talked for a really long time about how much we liked each other and how we wanted to make it work. So that brings me to today. We have only gotten to hang out that one time and even though we talk fairly often I still feel really confused. It’s like we talk but them we go a week without being able to communicate at all so by the time we talk again any progress that was made has been lost. It might just be me being insecure but I just don’t know if I can keep it up for 3 more months. I really really like him but I feel so uncertain if he likes me the same even though I know we talk whenever he gets the chance. I also feel really guilty for hiding the relationship from my dad. What should I do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, you should figure out what you want in terms of a relationship. You’ve kind of fallen into a default position because you weren’t really clear on what kind of relationship you wanted and with whom. So decide that. 😉

That said, it doesn’t really sound like this guy is available to date you — but you’re investing an awful lot of time and energy into him, at the expense of looking at other guys and finding someone who IS available to date you. 😉 So if you’re looking for a guy who can actually date you regularly, then you need to expand your horizons.

As for not telling your dad about this guy — there’s nothing really TO tell your dad about him. You met a guy and hung out once, and you’re investing a lot of energy in him….. if you’re looking for advice from your dad, then you should ask him for it, but if you’re looking for approval, there’s nothing to approve just yet. 😉

I hope that helps.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Member]

Posts