[amber8904]

Hi, my name is Autumn and I really need help with a relationship I have with a man. I absolutely adore him, he’s outgoing, hard worker, and sweet. But hes never asked me out, yet he is intimate with me(sometimes) and mentions “us” when he talks about going on a trip. He also said I can make a garden in his backyard, he gave me a spare key to his house, which I declined it. I live 25 mins away from him. We don’t get to talk much or visit. cause I work midday when he works in the mornings. I have had a lot of bad relationships in my past and to be honest scared of getting hurt again. He mentioned to me that im very reserved, which I admit I am a lil bit with him. He randomly txted me asking if I was mad at him, which I had no reason to be, and told him I wasn’t. I asked him why I would be mad at him and he replied “why wouldn’t you be?” He has had some bad relationships as well. He will be very intimate then he will back off, and this has been going on for about 6 months. I recently noticed he was on math.com in his history on his computer, and that hurt I know I shouldn’t be a snooper. I don’t know what to think, and I don’t know what he wants with me. I want to be his girl, but I don’t feel that I am. Please help me, anything will help so I can understand what he is thinking.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You may be confused about the way HE feels, but the problem here isn’t him. 😕 If you have a history of bad relationships and you’re scared of being hurt, then it’s very important that you don’t give out mixed signals. In other words, if you want a committed relationship then you can’t just wish for it, you have to act like you want one. When you’re clear, it’s a lot easier for other people to be clear. 🙂

So, if you “adore” this guy, and he tells you that you’re reserved, or that he thinks you’re mad at him when you aren’t, something’s wrong with the way you’re expressing yourself. My advice is that you buy and read [b]Think & Date Like A Man[/b], a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right. You can buy it here: [url]https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/think-date-like-a-man-april-masini/1104522250?ean=9780595374663&itm=1&usri=9780595374663[/url]. It’s going to help you with a lot of basics where you probably took the wrong turn. 😉

Next, you have to be the girlfriend you’d like him to have. In other words, if you want a guy to take you on a date, then you have to be that woman. You can’t sell yourself short and just be someone who sleeps with him, hoping he’ll suddenly take you out to dinner and be your boyfriend — while he’s looking for dates on Match.com. You have to compete with these other women and stop being the one he sleeps with, but doesn’t date. 😉

As for what he’s thinking, it sounds like he likes you, but you aren’t expressive enough with your feelings, and you’ve rejected his offer of a key. You also don’t make him rise to the occasion by being someone who makes him chase you and work for a date. You have to understand that guys love to win women over. It makes them feel like they’re good at something, and when you’re too easy, he’s going to look for the next chase — which is what he’s doing on these dating websites you found him on.

All in all, you have to dial up your game and be clear in your own mind about what you want — and make sure your behavior matches your dreams. 😀

Hope that helps.

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