[brokenhearted]

I apologize now this will be long so you can understand the whole situation.
3 years ago I met who is without a doubt the love of my life and she also felt the same. We had what was love at first sight no doubt. She left her man of 15 yrs and my self the girl I was with of 5 to be together. At the time I was 28 and she 40. I am a very mature self employed young man. For a while in the beginning he had a hard time adjusting to her new life with her new man. Tough leaving a guy of 15 yrs family connections ect. I understood this and dealt with it. For 2 years we had what was a fairy tale romance. GREAT times always and loving her as deeply as I do literally treated her like a princess ALWAYS to levels that would blow your mind on a regular basis. I was smothering I do realize that now and at times she did ask for space yet it never lasted long she always came rushing back almost immediately. The chemistry and feeling were ALWAYS there and very intense and strong. We met in july of ’07…..In august of 08 I was in a very bad car accident with her father, on our way to a car show in one of his classics we were hit by a drunk driver, which ultimately claimed his life after a month in the hospital. Through out that whole time I put myself n needs aside and was there every second with her. She and her father were incredibly close. I knew it would really effect her so I was very tolerant to alot of mood swings and so on letting her adjust and deal. Let me add as strong as everything was from day 1 she felt being in a long term relationship for 15 years held her back and she just wanted to “date” have some freedom so to speak before she could commit again to someone, but we have only seen each other through out that time. All was well but I do admit to being smothering and as i felt her slipping away I came n stronger, turned up the romance tried everything I could to put and see a smile on her face every day. I knew she was lost since she lost her Dad and took most of what she did with a grain of salt letting her deal and was there but gave space when asked for. All Was well till august of 08, from july I could sense something or someone had her attention and I was being placed in the back seat. But what could I do. As much as I knew this the times we spent together and so on were still phenominal. In august she found the smallest thing she could turned it into a big deal and asked for space and said she needed a break. I come to find out shortly after she met someone and started seeing them. I looked at it as she is hurting from the loss of her father and anything stimulating that distracts her from the pain will be inviting for her so it didnt really suprise me. We continued to see each other here and there kept in contact. And I could still see the spark in her eye for me yet she didnt wanna be with me nor loose me at that point. I made it a point to cut her lose and after 2-3 months shes found excuses to contact me after that. We spent last valentines day together I did know she was seeing him but not sure how serious she felt about that if she went with me on Vday. through that whole time frame shes always been hot n cold. This past May was her brothers wedding which I was invited and went to, I saw the spark in her eye again n felt it when she invited me to dance with her. Through out the summer she wanted to and tried having me around “friendly” but he was jealous and gave her a hard time. Shes told me hes not the guy for her. In sept I ran into him and he spilled his guts to me they were done n so on I talked to him but come to find out he was just digging for info. I REALLLLLLLY Pissed her off by talking to him. After that we really didnt talk till oct/nov when she started finding excuses to txt me and ask me really dumb questions. Since then we have stayed friendly and talk here n there. Every once in a while shed ask me to fix something for her, maybe as an excuse to see me i dont know. That happened the week before xmas. That week I also called her mom n ran a xmas flower to mom and a few gifts for my girl and asked her to place them with her things on xmas n not say anything, they were just small thing that reminded me of her when i saw them in my travels and a card telling er i lover her and miss her and to remember the greatest gift is a good memory. It cant be trhrown out lost given away and will provide a lifetime of smiles……………On xmas day I was blown away, I got a txt from her inviting me to her mothers for dinner. I am close with the whole family n the all really like me, this is before they exchanged gifts, she told me he was there with her. She refers to him as only friend. He dosent like me he is very intimidated by my comfort ability around him and confidence I can sense that. He in the past has told me he thinks she still loves me. Any way later in the eve her got REALLLLLLY DRUNK and REALLLLY acted like a total jerk. picking fist fights and so on….BAD BAD BAD!!!!!! I didnt bother her she was in a cave of embarrassment for a few days, she did txt me to thank me for her gifts and the conversation led on a few hours. The following day I asked her to dinner and it is the first invite she has accepted since shes last valentines day. Surprising when we were leaving she asked for a hug n kiss and offered me her lips to kiss good nite. And told me to keep in touch and after i said we should do it again she said I can plan on it. Now New years eve day i just sent a txt bustin her about her football team we chatted back n forth a bit n when I mentioned maybe seeing her later for a drink she clammed up and quit responding. I was invited to her brothers party a few weeks earlier and did go. She was there and we were just friendly with each other like anyone else there, Kinda dont know how to compare the response i got a few night earlier at dinner to the party unless she needs time to phase him out before she can make it look like shes with another guy to family n friends. I am trying to really lay LOW n not smother or over persure her but at the same time I wanna sweep her off her feet. She may still be talking to him Im not sure, Id say thats done its been not good a long time and think it really was never anything other than something to fill the void after taking a break from me and now shes having a hard time shaking it off. I dont know. But im hurting deeply and badly for a long time. Never have I felt anything like I feel for this woman, Last summer I asked her mothers permission to buy her a ring.I have been patient and waited and will wait for her possibly forever I dont know. But as soon as I slip away she comes and touches base to keep me in her life. The whole xmas thing really boggles my mind. Cause we really havent had much contact till recently. What do i Do ? Whats she doing? Whats she thinking? What can I do to spark her interest n persue me harder for more of a relationship. Its over a ear and im as messed up as the day she said she wanted a break. Last time I asked her about us she said we always had great times together n everything was always great. we never argued we discussed things. I asked her if she ever thinks about us n she said of course we had a great thing. I then asked if she ever considered giving us another chance and she said not “right now” that was a few months back and if hes in the picture I can kinda understand. If you need any pieces of the puzzle filled in please feel free to ask Q’s. Id love to hear what you think……….

Thank You
Hopelessly Romantic N Broken Hearted

[AskApril Masini]

My advice is to move on so you don’t have to be lost, broken hearted and confused any more. This woman has been going from man to man since 2007, as you write it, and she isn’t giving you a green light to date her now.

Read Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], so you can quickly understand how to win a woman over, and how to know when the woman is ready to be won. This one isn’t.

You may have had great times together, but they’re in your past. She’s dating other people and doesn’t want to date you any more. Move on.

I hope that helps, and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom (no dot!) on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. 😀

[brokenhearted]

I guess im looking for that faint glimmer of hope shes gonna come back……..those lil reach outs of contact I see as hope but I guess i see hope in about anything

[brokenhearted]

I guess im looking for that faint glimmer of hope shes gonna come back……..those lil reach outs of contact I see as hope but I guess i see hope in about anything

[AskApril Masini]

If there is a glimmer of hope to be had, you’ll find it in the book I suggested you read, Date Out of Your League. It shows you how to win with women, and if she is winnable, this book will help you. Here’s the link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url].

Buy it and read it and let me know if it helps. 😀

[Member]

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