- This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks ago by
Ethan Morales.
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May 14, 2018 at 10:20 pm #8300
johnga00Member #377,716I have been dating a girl for about 6 weeks. Feels like everything is going great. But i notice a few times a week she will completely disappear/drop off the earth all day long then around 8pm text/call me like she is really happy to end her day talking to me . Like one day last week we chatted briefly in the morning…said good morning and such. I knew she had to help someone so i asked how it was going a and she didnt respond until 8 pm almost 12 hours later and didnt miss a beat about how happy she was to talk to me? This happens once or twice a week and i dont know why. But when we talk or when were together everything is great. What should i do? Should i bring it up or let it ride out to see what happens? I dont want to come across as suddenly creepy but we have already decided to officially be bf/gf and it bothers me she disappears like this. I notice when we are together though her phone is always within an arms reach which is also why this bothers me. We dont talk alot during the day normally because we both work but she works works from home and then goes out to meet clients so its not like she has a job that she isnt allowed to touch her phone. What bothers me most is when the conversation just drops at one of my comments/questions or if i send a “hows your day going” text and dont get a reply for 12 hours. We have such a great thing when were together but then this completely drop of the earth thing is weirding me out more than anything ive ever run into dating. Sorry if this is kind of jumbled i am typing it out as i chew it over in my head.
May 15, 2018 at 12:06 am #35869
Ask April MasiniKeymasterDon’t make a mountain out of a molehill. 😉 If your six weeks of dating are going great when you’re together, and the only problem is that she doesn’t respond as quickly or as often as you’d like, let this one ride. I know you’re official — but it’s only been six weeks of dating. You still have a lot to get to know about each other. And just because she drops out during the day, doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you, is cheating on you, or is intentionally ignoring you. She’s probably focused on work, friends, family and all those wonderful things that make her a well-rounded person.😉 Also, people who work out of their homes may give the impression of having lots of free time or more control over their time than they actually do. So her casual work set up may actually be more intense than you think, and when she drops out it’s because she’s focused on work.One thing you can do is try to notice what types of texts you’re sending her that don’t get a response you like — and change that pattern on your end. For instance, if you send her a generic, “How’s your day going?” and you don’t get a response you like, try something else. For instance, give her a compliment, or send her an interesting link or a funny comic. Dating is a way to get to know each other, and you’re learning what works and what doesn’t works. Be flexible and try something new if you don’t like a response you’re getting.
But, all in all, I think you’re fine — she’s just busy during the day. This isn’t an insult you’re getting. It’s just you dating a woman with a lot going on!
June 17, 2018 at 7:44 am #35882Carrymark
Member #377,926Don’t say anything blindly. You have just passed 6 weeks with that girl. But I think you spent more times to judge that girl. Good luck! June 21, 2018 at 3:11 pm #35885
Ask April MasiniKeymasterGood advice — and good luck from me, too! October 21, 2025 at 10:57 am #45953
Nina AMember #382,681You can’t build calm with someone who keeps you guessing.
What you’re describing isn’t just about missed texts; it’s about emotional rhythm. When you care about someone, consistency matters. Six weeks in, you’re still learning each other’s patterns, but her disappearing acts are creating imbalance. You find yourself waiting, replaying moments, filling in blanks. That kind of uncertainty doesn’t make connection stronger; it makes you anxious.
You don’t need to accuse her, but you do need to speak honestly. Tell her you enjoy her and that you feel disconnected when she drops off for long stretches. How she responds will tell you a lot. Someone who’s genuinely invested will want to ease your worry, not dismiss it.
You deserve a relationship that feels steady, not one that leaves you questioning your place in it. Love shouldn’t feel like chasing a signal that keeps cutting out.
October 21, 2025 at 3:19 pm #45976
PassionSeekerMember #382,676Instead of assuming disinterest, reframe her behavior as data about her communication rhythm. Some people simply don’t weave texting into their day they connect deeply in bursts. The warmth she shows at 8 p.m. isn’t fake; it’s just how her emotional timing works.
Still, it’s fair for you to want consistency. Compatibility isn’t about matching texting frequency exactly it’s about feeling secure in each other’s rhythms.
October 30, 2025 at 8:08 pm #47184
Ethan MoralesMember #382,560From what you describe, your relationship sounds healthy and enjoyable when you’re together, which is the core of it. The “drop off the earth” moments during the day are frustrating and confusing, but they don’t necessarily mean anything negative about her feelings. People handle work, life, and communication styles differently. Just because she’s responsive in the evening doesn’t mean she’s ignoring you intentionally she may genuinely be busy or mentally checked into other responsibilities.
You’ve only been dating six weeks. That’s a short time to expect seamless, all-day communication. Early dating is about feeling each other out, not testing loyalty.
She’s officially your girlfriend, and she shows excitement and engagement when you do communicate. That’s a strong indicator that she likes you and values your connection.
The fact that her phone is nearby doesn’t necessarily mean anything; people often check their devices for non-conversational reasons work, reminders, or casual scrolling without intending to text back immediately.
Don’t overthink or read into every delayed response. Let her show you through consistent patterns over time, not isolated incidents.
Pay attention to what kinds of messages she responds to best maybe certain topics or tones spark better interaction.
If this continues for months and starts to bother you consistently, bring it up calmly, focusing on how it makes you feel, not accusing her. For example: “I love our time together and how we communicate, but sometimes when I don’t hear from you during the day I get a little anxious. Can we figure out something that works for both of us?”
This is normal early dating behavior, and it doesn’t appear to be a red flag. Let it ride, enjoy your time together, and observe patterns rather than reacting to each text delay.
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