[jaschneider23]

Hi good morning! I am new to this site, and to be honest this whole forum thing. But I wanted to reach out because I am so conflicted an confused on my current relationship and wanted to get some insight/ advice . I am 29 and meet my current bf (who is 42) and began dating one year ago. When I meet him he was still married but separated (said for a year, but was still living there. They have three kids). He said it was just a matter of filling paperwork. I proceeded with caution and kinda fell for him. It has been a lot of drama and I am at a point where I need to either move on or give it my all. His ex has been very nasty and was the one who filled the divorce. I moved in with him I’m May. She even came over and we got into a physical altercation. She says horrible things to the kids about me, now they act disrespectful to me. When I bring this up to him, he just says “so? I didn’t hear them say it so..” . I was close to his kids but I always feel disrespected. Last time they were over his son kept going on about how I was not a real part of the family and I don’t count. His daughter has called me disgusting and a little whore. He has lied twice about hanging out with ex and and did not even want us to be in contact . I eventually reached out to her and we spoke . He has set days with his kids but is over there at least three days a week. He never tells me when he is going over and won’t answer my calls texts at all when he is over there. Another thing that really bugs me is that he kinda puts me down, he says I never clean or cook and makes little remarks all the time. I have a 1-2 hour drive one way to work. In the beginning he was a total Prince Charming. I really want to get married and start a family also. Should I stick it out or move on? Any advice would be great

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Blended families are difficult in the best circumstances, but if you start dating a man who is not divorced, but is still married, and his kids find out, there is a strong chance that they will equate you with their parents’ break up. 😕 Whether or not they’re right, you have to look at it from their points of view. The fact that you physically fought with their mother is not going to win you any love from them. 🙄 My advice is to focus on your relationship with him, and let him do the parenting and the disciplining. 😉

Everything you’ve written here makes it sound that he’s lost interest in being a great boyfriend or future husband, and my advice is that you take your cues from him. If he acts like he’s not interested any more, trust his behavior. I think you can do better elsewhere — but focus on dating guys who are single, not married with children. It will make your life easier and your chances of success higher. 😀 If you really want to get married, then you should find a man who wants the same. 😉 Shared goals will make your life a lot easier. 🙂

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