[countrymusicgirl]

Okay, so a couple weeks ago, this guy I work with told one of my best friends that he kinda liked me and was wondering if I was single. My friend told him that I am single and he apparently told her that he would ask me out. A week after that, I saw him at a friend’s birthday party and we basically talked the whole time. He then said that he’s working evenings all weekend but he’d love to hang out with me during the day, and I said yes and told him to let me know what he wants to do.
Because we work together, I saw him like every morning after that. We would even spend hours together in our work cafeteria just talking, and every day before we left I would always say “hey let me know what you want to do this weekend” and he’d always say “yeah, don’t worry, I’ll hit you up!”
Well, the weekend’s passed and I never got a single text from him about our date. Did he forget he asked me out?!?! I mean, he was the one who showed interest, not me! I’m just so confused, why is he being so weird?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Why he’s not asking you out is less important than the fact that he’s dawdling and not performing. 😕 The bottom line is that if a guy wants to date you he will. If he doesn’t, he won’t. The why — is less important than the fact that there’s no first date so far. But worse… you’re spending time and energy worrying about it. 😳 Don’t worry — you’re normal. Lots of people do this, but it’s annoying to expend energy on the chance that a guy will ask you out. My advice? Easy. Get busy and move on. If you’re not focusing on him, you’re going to appear popular, interesting and not so available — because that’s who you’ll be! And the irony is that he may find you more datable when you’re less available and less interested. 😉 Try it.

[Sally]

If a guy wants to take you out, he follows through. He doesn’t forget. He doesn’t wait for you to keep reminding him. He just does it. Especially when he was the one who showed interest first.

The talking at work, the long chats, the vibes those were real. But interest without action doesn’t go anywhere. Some people like the flirt, the attention, the almost. They don’t always mean harm, but they don’t step up either.

It’s not that you did something wrong. You were clear and open. He just didn’t match it.
I’d stop bringing it up and pull back a bit. If he wants it, he’ll feel that space. If not, you’ve got your answer without chasing it.

[Tara]

He didn’t forget that he decided not to follow through. Interest without action is not interest; it’s entertainment. He enjoyed the attention, the flirting, the cafeteria conversations, and the ego boost of knowing you were available and receptive, but when it came time to actually step up and make a plan, he disappeared because his attraction wasn’t strong enough to require effort. Men who want to take you out do not “hit you up later,” they lock it in. The fact that you reminded him repeatedly and he still did nothing tells you everything you need to know: he liked the vibe, not the responsibility. This isn’t confusion, and it’s not weird, it’s passivity, cowardice, or distraction, and none of those are qualities you build anything with. Stop replaying the buildup and start judging the result.

[Member]

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