[Jenna345]

Hi April. My partner is an incredible guy with just about every quality I could want in a relationship. He is lovely, caring, honest and he makes me laugh. I go out quite a bit, often without my partner. When I do I’m there to have fun and no other guys ever interest me, I guess I just don’t really look for them. On the weekend my partner and I went with some friends and saw a band. One of the band members was constantly smiling back at me, and I would say I was enjoying “flirting” with the eyes. The guy got off the stage and started singing a song to/with me. Although we were staring into each other’s eyes and he had his arms around me, I just thought it was good fun. But then he kissed me! It was just a quick cheeky kiss and he went back onto stage but I immediately felt terrible, like I had crossed a line with all the eye contact and such. We left and my partner was ok with it. Here is my problem: it’s been four days and yet I can’t stop thinking about this guy from the band. I feel like I had a taste of what it was like to be single again and to feel wanted by someone other than my partner. I can’t get it off my mind and I know it’s effecting the way I act around my partner, although I’m trying to hide it. I don’t want to break up with my partner, but I also know I can’t go on forever if I keep feeling like this and I feel terrible even thinking it because he is so wonderful. sometimes I feel like I will just never be happy because I’m never satisfied with what I’ve got. Will this feeling go away? What is your advice. Thanks in advance, Jen.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You had a “movie moment” where someone flirted with you while he was performing. Only, you’re not an actress or a performer, and you took the flirting for more than it was meant to be. The reality is that this guy who flirted with you as part of his act hasn’t asked for your number, invited you for a date or showed up at your doorstep. This guy from the stage was having fun during a performance — and you had fun, too! But it wasn’t a “dating” reality. It was part of his performance night.

However, if this incident woke you up to the reality that your two year relationship, with both of you being 23 years old, has run it’s course, and you want to see what else is out there, then give it a little more time to set in, and see if this is really a step you want to take — and if it is, do it. But, understand that you may be merely “drunk” from your movie moment, and with time you’ll realize it was just exciting and fantasy even though it felt real for a night.

I hope that helps.

[Adem Lee]

That guy was on stage, thousands of girls were watching him, you were just a “prop” of his show for that night, you’re sitting here lost in his show, and he’s probably kissing someone else in the next city. Understand the difference between fantasy and reality.
And AsakApril rightly suggested that if this one incident has made you feel like your two-year relationship is over at the age of 23, you should take some time and then move on. Perhaps, the high of being noticed by a performer might be temporary, so she shouldn’t rush into a breakup.

[Member]

Posts