[ellijanette]

Hi April,

My question is with regards to a male friend, who is trying to make my life ‘chilled and happy’. I really like him.

I’m a girl who hasn’t ever dated anyone but has a fair number of friends. I take time to open up. So this guy is trying to make me do fun things. You could think of it as how it is in the movies (I’m not wearing rosy glasses) – introvert girl, fun-loving guy (he, according to his friends, takes time to warm up to people but still has a lot of friends but talks a lot to me – mostly non-sense) and guy tries to make a girl’s life fun and interesting. We usually hang out with our friends but it’s always him who drops me back home if it’s late. We have our banters and he teases me by saying I have a boring life and he’ll help me make it ‘happening’, he gives me life advice and says he likes to think a lot so he is able to come with whatever advices he has for me. Whenever we meet, the conversation somehow always directs towards how ‘boring’ my life and how he’ll ‘fix’ it.

He says my life is a lot like his sister’s – apparently she also did nothing interesting such as dating, tripping with friends, etc. and she regrets having missed all of this as she got married as per her parents’ wishes. Is it possible that he is doing these things for me because he likes me the way I like him or is it just that he doesn’t want another girl’s life to be like his sister’s?

I really like this guy and am curious to know what he thinks about me. Your advice would be helpful.

Thanks.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He likes you — but you’re in the friend zone. Getting out of it requires flirting with him in a way that lets him know you like him as more than a friend. This gives him a clue that you’re interested in dating him, and it also gives him reassurance that he won’t get rejected if he asks you out (if he decides to). Compliment him, but not just the way a friend would. Tell him he looks really attractive in his blue shirt. Or that the afternoon light makes his eyes look amazing. Tell him he’s so good at things — you get the picture. Smile at him more than you would a friend, laugh at his jokes, and make him feel like you’d be a great person to date, so he’ll want to take it to the next level. 🙂

[Swera Khan]

Like Ask April, I would also say, don’t be a victim of your own shyness. If you like him, give him the signal that you are an “option”, not a project.

[Member]

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