[quote]My big question is why would someone do something even if they knew it was important to you that they didn’t do it? [/quote]
I’m not sure how long your wife has been smoking, but she may be addicted to nicotine. It’s a real addiction and tough to kick. The addiction becomes more important than any relationship.
[quote]Am I being too selfish or ridiculous in my thinking? [/quote]
No. You’re not being selfish or ridiculous. You want your wife to be healthy, so you want her to stop smoking.
[quote]Also, why when I asked her before did she lie right to my face? At this point I think the bigger issue becomes with the ease that she lied to me, not even the smoking? Does her credibility completely go out the window?? Please advise[/quote]
She lied to you because she didn’t want you to know she’s smoking behind your back. But what’s more curious is why you never confronted her when you saw her smoking. Her not being truthful is one thing, but you weren’t truthful either. You both lost credibility — but credibility isn’t the issue here. Neither is telling the truth. You’re both nurturing a dynamic that isn’t healthy. And you’re both doing a dance around something that’s difficult because you don’t want to face the difficulty that’s going to result from this problem coming out in the open.
You need to tell her how you feel and what you want, and ask her if she’ll see a physician about the smoking problem — because it’s clearly a problem. Then you have to practice being very honest with her — and balance that with being supportive. It’s hard to kick a smoking habit and it’s often not a straight line from one point to the other.
So start with a conversation and try to make some headway with her. Let me know how it goes. I know it’s tough — but you can do it!
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