[Lidya]

Hi, I’m feeling very stressed and would need your expert advice on how to reduce my stress and find some mental peace. I want to tell you a little bit about myself: I am a married woman with three children, and my husband is a very good man. he loves and cares for me so much.

However, there is another man in my life who is my friend, or you could call him my boyfriend. He also has two children and lives with his wife. We first spoke over the phone 6 years ago regarding work. Eventually, he started messaging me occasionally, and I began talking to him too. We would talk all day long, but not at night because my husband would be with me, so I spoke to him in secret.

Our friendship grew so deep that we became emotionally connected. We started meeting outside occasionally and eventually became physically involved; I would go to meet him in a room every month. As time passed, his wife eventually found out about our relationship, and she insulted me deeply. I felt terrible and consumed by guilt for what I was doing. I promised myself and him that I wouldn’t do it again.

But he contacted me again and said he couldn’t live without me. I tried to make him understand that we were betraying our families and should stop. We didn’t talk for a few days, but after a month, we started again. Our relationship has lasted 6 years now.

Now, everything feels wrong. I want to leave him, but I can’t find the strength to do it. Now When he tells me ‘I love you,’ I feel nothing, no happiness, only discomfort that he is saying those things to me. I am constantly stressed, thinking that I’ve done wrong and shouldn’t have acted this way.

I am fine with my husband and have never let him sense that I am in another relationship, but when he tries to be romantic with me, I feel nothing but stress and anger at myself for betraying such an innocent person. I am extremely worried.
AskApril i really need your advice plzzzzzzzz.
I posted here because I cannot share this with anyone else.
Thank you for reading.

[Lamine]

i fEEL gUilTy” “I feel Soory”, you ain’t fooling no one. 6 good years of cheating on your husband. Have you had children in that period? Probably not his. Damn! He should get a DNA test if you had children during that period.

This is really unfair to your partner. You’ve been with your fellow cheat for 6 years. You both cheating on your partners and hurting innocent people. Why don’t you just get together already and let this innocent people, move on and meet people who genuinely love them.

You say you feel guily? Well, let me add to that by reminding you that you swore an oath in the presence of God, your family, and his family to be faithful. But here we are

[Eliana Solenn]

Be brave to tell to other guy that you want to quit and you’re not happy anymore. Start doing the right thing. 6 years of cheating is too much, so please end that non-sense relationship now! You both have a family to protect and as you’ve mentioned that your husband is a very good man, so he deserves a good wife. Always choose your family and your peace of mind.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Hi Lidya,

If you sincerely feel as you described, you do not need me to advise you.

The solution is very simple. And you know exactly what it is: You need to break it off. Recommit to your marriage. And (this time) keep the promise you made yourself the last time you broke it off, by never doing it again.

However, just because something is simple does not make it easy.

Frankly, this is not about a lack of strength. It is about a lack of commitment to a decision. Assuming your post is a truthful depiction of how you feel. Commit to your stated desire, “I want to leave,” and follow through.

If your post is not a truthful depiction of how you feel — stop lying to yourself — and own it.

Acknowledge and accept yourself for who you are. Be honest with yourself. You are not “trapped”. No one is forcing you to do what you are doing. You are making the decision to do it.

You are still in this relationship because you value being in it more than you value ending it, to be faithful.

That being said, nothing good comes out of beating yourself up about the past. You cannot change who you decided to be during that time, any more than you can undo the things you elected to do for those six years.

The decisions you made and the actions you took are now part of your history. And, there is no rewriting history.

What you can do is make a decision — right now — about who you want to be going forward.

If you really feel what you are doing is wrong. Stop doing it.
If you truly “feel anger (at yourself) for betraying such an innocent person”. Stop betraying him.
If you are not proud of who you see looking back at you in the mirror. Stop being that person.

Become a person you can feel proud of.

Each of us can decide at any given moment to become someone different.
Each of us can decide to behave differently today than we did yesterday.
We can all choose to change our lives.

The question is, who do you want to be…

Follow me on https://www.instagram.com/aprilmasini2024/ — https://x.com/AprilMasini

[Freya Jhon]

I read your post, and it seemed very strange to me. Now, you should not only end the conversation with him, but also block this man’s number and close every way he can reach you. As long as the window is open, he will come back.
And AskApril is right here, that you have to decide in this moment what kind of woman you want to be in the future. If you are ashamed of your reflection, then quit the thing that makes you ashamed.
So you have to focus on my husband and children. Keep your mind busy so that old memories don’t bother you.

[Member]

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