[Eliana Solenn]

Hi, I have a boyfriend and his name is Kiefer. I love him, I really do. He treats me well, makes me laugh, and says he loves me so much. But every time his ex’s name comes up, something changes. His voice softens. His eyes look distant. He says she was a big part of his life. But deep down, I feel like I’m sharing his heart with someone who isn’t even here anymore.

I don’t want to compete with his past. I want to be someone’s present and future.

Am I overthinking this, or should I walk away before I get hurt even more?

[Mia Monita]

Don’t walk away with that very small thing, unless you have proof that he is still in love with her ex. Maybe her ex has been a big part of his past life but her present now is YOU. Don’t overthink and insecure about his ex. Avoid saying his ex’s name so you don’t get hurt when you see his reaction. Just focus on your current relationship and make more memories together. Ex is Ex and Past is Past.

[Lamine]

I can assure you that you aren’t overthinking this. The changes you see each time her name comes up, the softened voice softens, the distance look in his eyes, are involuntary physiological responses that suggests, he still has some emotional connection to the said person, and he might even be reminiscing his time with her.

But I have a question. Why does her name keep popping up? Is it you who always brings her up, just to see how your boyfriend feels about her, or he just randomly talk about her to you.

If it is you who always bring her up in conversation, you jsut have to stop.

If he is the one who brings her up then there is an issue.

You deserve to be with someone who is all into you, sees you as their present and future, and you shouldn’t settle until you find that person.

[Chan Ghian]

I understand why you overthinking. If I’m in your position, I will think the way you thinking as well. For now, focus on your relationship with him and avoid mentioning the name of his ex. Create memories and make an effort for the stronger relationship. Do no talk about her ex anymore. Focus on the present and for your future. Don’t look back

[Member]

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