[Anonymous]

I started dating my girlfriend back in jan 2008. We dating until July 2009. Since July we were seeing each other and talking still like we were going out and I was an ass a few times and cheated on her in the summer and told her about it. I ended up breaking up with her in the first place because she was controlling towards me and wouldnt let me see my friends. After we broke up she wanted to get back together with me and i wanted time to think about it. I took too long and she said she wouldnt wait for me.After a while she said in November that she would start talking to other people and would give me my last chance otherwise she wasnt waiting around. We still talked and such and acted like we were dating. In december she started talking to this guy and had sex with him a few times. I got jealous and freaked out and was all bent out of shape about it. I soon started to realize that we werent together. Well she thought she was pregnant after the second time she had sex with him. I think she realized that he used her a little bit for sex. He was moving away to Michigan. He hasnt moved yet but hes been going back and forth and is planning on for sure moving in the next couple weeks. I don’ t know what my ex sees in him but i just try and help her out. I have been annoying lately by calling her too much and pressuring her about going back out. Sometimes its just like a brick wall waitiing in anticipation to see if she will take me back. Her response is she just wants to be friends for now and if something happens it happens. I wanted to know the best advice to try to get my ex back. We almost dated 2 years and i still love her alot and i don’t want to give up the relationship i had with her. I want to work out being friends. I also want to make my move in the future. When is the earliest i could do that? I don’t know how much time i should give her for her to come back. I feel like if i shut her off she’ll think im a big jerk and a**h**e who dosent care and if i feed into her game and try to want her back shes going to step on me. I know she still cares cuz she wouldnt call or text at random once in a while. I just don’t know if i should cut off all communication and let things be until she gets a hold of me or what i should do. I’m worried that another guy will sweep her off her feet and possibly go out with her. I’m worried about it but the last couple times we hung out were very good as friends. I just need to stop pressuring her on the phone sometimes about it cuz i tend to get a little obsessive. I don’t know if theres a female who can respond to me or what im just stuck and lost. On top of it i got my schooling so its hard to balance both right now. Don’t know what to do. She dosent text or call like she used to. I got her on mind almost 24/7 i try to fake it in order to think about something else. She said she would have to give it time and her words are “I don’t know” when i speak to her. She also said it would be alot of time to work things out what is a reasonable time cuz i don’t wanna be miserable forever?? Next two weeks three weeks to work things out? Please help……………. 😀

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sorry, but your girlfriend isn’t interested in getting back together with you. The relationship is over, and the most you can hope to get out of this is some messy communication and a friendship where she tells you about the men she’s dating and sleeping with, and you become more and more obsessive, jealous and unhappy.

The best thing for you is to move on, and find someone who wants to be with you more than any other man in the world. It’s too difficult for you to try and be friends with her because you still want her back, and she’s not really interested. I know you think that her texting you and staying in touch with you is evidence of her possibly wanting to get back with you, but you’re kidding yourself. There’s too much water under the bridge between the two of you, and you gave the relationship a fair shot, but it didn’t work out.

Since you admit to having an obsessive streak, it doesn’t seem like a good idea for you to be in contact with her any more. It’s going to be healthier for you to make a clean break from her and move on to dating other women and looking for Ms. Right.

I know how hard this will be for you, but if you don’t do it, you’re going to be miserable.

[Member]

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