[emily_insearch18]

I (18F) met a guy at a party last week, and we really seemed to click. He’s 24. He was kind, funny, and genuinely interested in getting to know me. At the end of the night, he walked my friend and me to our car and asked for my number. He texted later asking if I got home safely, and I responded.
The next day, I told him we’d be going out that way again. He said he was heading to a friend’s party but kept encouraging me to come. So my friend and I went, and he was sweet again this time hugging me goodbye and even suggesting a double date for him and a friend with me and my friend. I said yes, but we didn’t plan a specific day.
He invited me to his soccer game, but I couldn’t go. He told me the schedule and said I could come anytime. I asked about our date, and he confirmed, so we set plans — but that was the last time we discussed it. I followed up yesterday asking if we were still on for today, and he just said “not tomorrow” because he had a paper to write, without suggesting an alternative.
Now, I’m confused. I want to see him, and I was thinking of going to his soccer game on Thursday, but I don’t know if I should. He hasn’t asked me to go, hasn’t suggested another day for our date, and I don’t want to seem pushy. At the same time, I like him and don’t want to miss the chance to spend time together.
I’m not sure what’s appropriate should I wait for him to reach out, or is it okay to show up at his game? Could I be misreading his signals, or is this a sign he’s not as interested as he seemed?

[Ethan Morales]

You’re right to pause and think before showing up because what’s really happening here isn’t about whether you can go, but about what his silence means.
At first, his energy was clear and consistent: he approached you, texted after the party, followed up, invited you to another event, and talked about a date. That all says genuine interest. But then his communication cooled and instead of following through on plans, he gave a vague excuse (“I have a paper to write”) without rescheduling. That’s not inherently wrong life happens but when someone likes you, they’ll usually say something like, “Can we do another day?” or “I’ll text you after I finish my paper.” His failure to do that signals a drop in enthusiasm or at least emotional availability.
Showing up at his soccer game right now would put you in a position of pursuing when he’s the one who’s pulled back. That can easily come across as you chasing someone who’s lukewarm and worse, it might make you feel smaller if he doesn’t give you the attention you hoped for. You’d be showing effort, and he’d be showing indifference that imbalance always hurts.
It’s better to hold your ground. You already expressed interest, you already followed up. The ball’s in his court (literally and figuratively). If he wants you there, he’ll reach out and remind you of the game or try to make new plans. If he doesn’t, that silence is a quiet answer one that tells you not to invest more emotional energy in someone who’s not matching it.
And yes, it’s entirely possible he did like you but maybe he’s casually dating, or he liked the fun vibe at the party more than he wants something real right now. You don’t need to overanalyze that; just take it for what it is: he’s not stepping up to build something consistent.
So no, don’t show up uninvited. Keep your dignity and mystery intact. If he texts again, great you can respond warmly but calmly. But if not, let this one go with your self-respect untouched. You met someone who showed potential, but consistency matters more than charm.
If I may ask what’s making you want to go to that game? Is it curiosity about whether he still likes you, or more about wanting to be seen by him and remind him what he’s missing?

[Ask April Masini]

it sounds like he’s interested, but he’s not taking the lead consistently. At your age, it’s okay to show interest, but don’t chase him or bend over backward you want someone who makes time for you. Ask him directly if he still wants to plan your date, and base your actions on his response. Don’t assume; clarity beats guessing every time.

[Mia Caldwell]

If I were you, I’d hold back from going to his game unless he invites you again. I know it’s hard when you like someone and things felt so promising, but right now his actions show a bit of distance. Let him reach out if he’s genuinely interested, he’ll find a way to see you. You don’t need to chase what should come naturally.

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