I’m pretty young and haven’t had many relationships (only two) but they’ve been such bad experiences that it’s made me lose hope in ever finding the right guy.
My first relationship lasted almost four years and that boyfriend was sweet, loving, funny, and caring but at the same time was cheating on me constantly. The experience absolutely crushed me and I’ve had difficulty letting go of the pain and anger several years later. I even blame myself sometimes, wondering if something I did caused him to stray. I recently talked to him about the whole thing and he says it was just stupidity and greediness on his part and nothing I did, which did bring me some closure.
My second relationship (which is also my current one) has been for the past five and a half years. I knew my boyfriend a year before we started dating. He was very kind, sensitive, caring, and extremely generous. Showed me a lot of affection. After a few years he began treating me like crap, criticizing my every move, upsetting me all the time. And he doesn’t even care if he’s doing it, I somehow deserve it because I’m always doing something wrong. I’ll admit that I can be difficult to deal with sometimes, but I really don’t think it’s all me all of the time. You’re probably wondering why I’m still with him if I’m so unhappy. Unfortunately we’re in a bad situation at the moment and we’re pretty much stuck together for now. I know it’s stupid but unfortunately I don’t have much of a choice.
I just don’t understand why these guys – who seem so wonderful to me, my family, my friends, everyone – suddenly turn into these ugly monsters after a few years together. It makes me think that something I’m doing is turning them this way. Plenty of relationships have problems and don’t work out and I understand that, but I don’t understand why mine always turn out this way. It makes me think that the rest of my life will continue to be a series of long term relationships that suddenly turn awful and cause me all kinds of pain and heartache.
