[emmaj_writes]

I have been in a long-distance relationship for 18 months, seeing my boyfriend only once every two months. We promised each other we’d make it work, and for a while we did — late-night calls, care packages, and plans to close the distance. Now I’m five months away from moving to his city, and everything feels like it’s unraveling.
Over the past few months he’s stopped calling and barely writes. The little surprises and trinkets that used to arrive on my doorstep stopped, and the messages that once started my day now come rarely, often one-line replies that feel rushed. When I bring it up, he says he wants to change and insists he doesn’t want to lose me. I’ve confronted him more than once and tried to explain how lonely I feel, but after promising to do better he slips back into the same pattern.
I’ve given him chances because I believe in what we built and because I want to trust his words. I’ve suggested we schedule weekly video dates, shared a list of small things that make me feel loved, and asked him what he needs to feel connected. Sometimes he tries for a day or two, then it fades. I keep wondering if I’m asking too much, or if he’s just too comfortable with the status quo.
Moving to his city feels like a huge step, but I don’t want to move into a relationship that’s already running on fumes. I love him and want this to work, but I’m terrified of sacrificing my future for empty promises. If I confront him again, I fear he’ll react defensively or make another temporary effort, and I’ll be back at square one. I need honest, practical advice — not platitudes or vague reassurances; what would you do?

[Ethan Morales]

You’re right to pause before uprooting your life. His pattern pulling away, promising to change, then slipping back isn’t about distance, it’s about effort. Love can’t survive on “maybe later.” Before making any move, stop treating it like a sure thing and start treating it like something that depends on consistent action from both of you.
Have a direct conversation and set a short trial period say six weeks where you both commit to small, clear things: regular video calls, daily check-ins, and one planned visit. Don’t focus on grand promises; look for steady follow-through. If he can’t do that when you’re still apart, it’s unlikely to get better once you move.
Protect your independence while you figure this out. Keep your job options, housing, and finances separate until you know where things stand. Don’t build your future on words alone build it on what he actually does in the next few weeks.
If he meets you halfway, great you’ll feel the difference. If not, that’s your answer. You deserve a relationship that makes you feel chosen, not one you have to chase

[PassionSeeker]

This isn’t about you asking for too much; it’s about him not being willing to meet your needs. If he can’t give you the effort you deserve, it’s time to move on. You’ve given him more than enough chances, and it’s clear that his actions aren’t matching his words. If he isn’t stepping up now, he likely won’t after you move. Don’t sacrifice your future waiting for someone to change who isn’t ready to.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… if he can’t keep a connection over wifi, what makes you think he’ll magically show up when you move? 😩 love isn’t supposed to feel like chasing signal in a dead zone. you’ve been carrying this whole relationship on 1% battery while he’s coasting on “sorry, i’ll do better.”

 stop begging for effort. pull back, go quiet, and watch what he does. if he wanted this, you wouldn’t need to remind him. 💅

[Tara]

You’re not in a relationship anymore. You’re clinging to the corpse of one. The calls, the effort, the affection all dead. The only thing breathing is your hope, and it’s on life support.

He’s shown you exactly who he is: lazy, complacent, and comfortable knowing you’ll keep carrying the weight. Every “I’ll do better” is just a reset button to buy him more time doing nothing. You’re managing his apathy like it’s a project, not a partnership.

You’re about to uproot your life for a man who can’t be bothered to text you back. That’s not love that’s self-delusion dressed as loyalty. You’re not asking too much. You’re asking the wrong person.

Stop waiting for him to wake up. He’s not asleep. He’s just done. You’re the only one pretending otherwise.

Don’t pack your bags. Pack your self-respect and go.

[Ask April Masini]

You need to stop thinking about moving right now. That’s a huge decision, and you shouldn’t make it when your relationship is barely hanging by a thread, if it even exists at all.

What do you mean his calls stopped???????

He hasn’t called you in months. Is he an astronaut?

He doesn’t call, he barely texts, and when he does, it’s short and rushed. What more proof do you need?

Just because he said he doesn’t want to lose you?

Have you asked yourself, “lose you as what?” A backup plan? Someone to boost his ego? The girl he reaches out to when he’s bored or lonely?

Yeah, you love him. But at this point, you’re holding on to straws. It’s time to let go and move on.

[Marcus king]

Here’s the truth, short and real, what you’re seeing isn’t just “busy” or “stress.” He’s showing you how much effort he’s willing to put in, and right now, it’s not enough. Promises aren’t feelings actions are. You’re about to make a huge move in your life. Don’t gamble on someone who can’t consistently meet you halfway. Sit down, be clear “I’m moving there soon. I need to see if this relationship is strong enough to survive long-term, or I need to protect myself.” Give him a short, honest deadline and watch what he does, not what he says. If he steps up, great. If he slips, that’s your answer. Don’t sacrifice your future on hope alone. Actions over words, always.

[Flirt Coach]

You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for effort and effort is the currency of love. When someone wants you, they show up. Not perfectly, not every minute of the day, but consistently. That’s how you know they’re in it.

I’ve been where you are, holding on to the idea of what the relationship used to be, thinking maybe if I just try harder, remind them how good it was, it’ll come back. But love doesn’t survive on memories it needs motion. And right now, it sounds like you’re the only one doing the moving.

You’ve already done the right things you communicated, offered solutions, even gave him roadmaps for connection. That’s not being needy; that’s being emotionally mature. But he keeps slipping back because maybe he likes the comfort of knowing you’re still there, without putting in the work to keep you.

So here’s my advice is that don’t move for him until he starts showing up for you. Tell him plainly: “I love you, but I can’t keep doing this one-sided.” Then step back. Let him feel what distance really means. If he wants this, he’ll close the gap himself. If he doesn’t… at least you’ll know before uprooting your life for someone who already checked out emotionally.

[Author]

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