[Anonymous]

Dear April,
I am 17 years old and was dating a guy for 16 months until about 2 and a half weeks ago. He said we were on a break.
The reason: We were arguing a lot and he said he wasn’t happy. Most of our arguments was because he was hanging out with a girl who liked him and when I would go out of town, he’s spend a lot of time with her. I was jealous. And angry, because they would do “date” things. Like watch the last song (romantic-ish movie) and go to the zoo and go for walks, in a group of 2 girls and 2 guys total. To me, that’s a date. Well we argued about that a lot. He said I couldn’t control his life. One time I was hanging out with his sister and he was in the basement with this girl and another one while I was upstairs. He never once asked me if I wanted to hang out with him. Soooo this caused a lot of arguments and we decided to take a break, but he said he still wanted to get back together with me.
5 days later, he kissed the girl. He wanted to get back with me, but kisses this girl. Makes no sense. We still talk everyday and he is constantly telling me he can picture me out of his life for a little while, but not gone forever. I don’t understand. He also told me that one of the reasons he broke up with me was because he had a feeling they were going to kiss or do something and he didn’t wanna cheat on me. (If that were me, I would distance myself from the girl, not the girlfriend who I love.)
So we keep texting and talking. I cry everyday. I can’t seem to move on. I still wanna be with him, but it could be months and months before he wants to be with me. His sister and I were best friends and we haven’t talked since all of this happened. I miss his family and his friends. I have my own amazing family and friends but I miss his.
He even gave me a Promise Ring promising to be with me forever. but we’re each other’s first serious relationship and he doesn’t want me to be the only one he dates, so he says. But he also said he’ll never find a girl beter than me.
Any advice would be sooo awesone!
Thanks, Maryy93

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The problem is that men and women are different. You want a monogamous relationship and he doesn’t want to hurt you, but he wants to experiment with other women. Unfortunately, he can’t do both, so he’s hurting you. 🙁 I know you’re heartbroken, but you have to understand that deep down in your heart you KNOW you don’t want a guy who doesn’t want you the same way you want him. And sadly, this guy doesn’t.

This doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy or you’re unreasonable. What it means is that at this point in your life the two of you are incompatible. I know you miss him and his family, but you’re going to be healthier and happier if you stop hanging out with him and his sister and start to move away from him and on to a happier life where you’re not feeling jealous or rejected because you’re pining after someone who doesn’t want you the same way you want him. In other words, you have to start looking for someone else to date because this guy is no longer Mr. Right.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

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