[TheBigPunisher]

Alright, this situation had me hurt, confused, perplexed, angry, all of the above. I need some possible translations so I know some possibilities to expect or what NOT to expect.

So I’ve been talking to this girl for almost a year, and from time to time we wouldn’t talk, due to me, because I figured it to be the best thing since I had other stuff going on in my life. However, I did want to talk to her and I missed her etc. We never pursued anything in general, but liked each other, hung out, had sex, etc from time to time. She did what she wanted, I did what I wanted, but it was clear she valued me the most out of all guys she talked/messed with or whatever. So basically, after I stopped talking to her for almost 2 months, I hit her up and we talk again. I explained to her why I ignored her and apologized, and we both made up (I missed you so much, I can’t wait to see you, etc). So everything is good, we hang out, etc. We always got into little disputes from time to time when she wouldn’t text me back until hours later and vice versa but we never got into a serious argument or anything. So we got into a dispute on a Thursday because she got me tight, but she was supposed to come over Friday. Then she tells me she’s not coming, so I flipped and told her to delete me off of everything, etc etc cause she took it too far. So then she ignores me for almost a day, and on Saturday then finally tells me she used to like me a lot when we first started talking. She said when she saw me she was obviously happy to see me by the way she glowed when we kissed, etc. Then she goes on to say, she “Woke up” or had an “epiphany” and doesn’t feel the same, but she also has a habit of pushing people away so “She doesn’t know”. She tells me we should stop seeing each other. First thing I wondered is, why do feelings matter when we’re not trying to date each other or anything? Second is, how did this “epiphany” come out of nowhere? I was even more hurt because we had a big talk about my lack of trust for people, and I told her I’ll trust her and she told me “Hopefully you won’t have to second guess it”. We also admitted we loved each other, but again, left it at that (Mind you, in my absence she was messing with 2 guys or whatever). Why would you wait until after I trusted you to say this? Because we haven’t seen each other a little over a week, so if you got an epiphany that week why are you just saying it now? It was even more confusing, because on Friday night she was saying “I like you” and “I’d come now but I don’t wanna spend $20 on a cab to come for a couple of hours”. So now we’re not talking and I’m doing everything in my power to restrain myself from hitting her up. I did fall victim to creeping on her IG, and took some bait. She posted some picture saying “Don’t tell me you miss me, tell me you’re outside and you wanna see me. Action”. I figured it might be about me (Trap) and asked her for her address, I was coming over that night. No reply, and she changed her IG name lol. But in general she kept putting up/deleting pictures. Screenshots of her kik name, and pics of her saying she can’t sleep and stuff, so I’m like “Does she genuinly want to talk to other dudes, or is she trying to get me tight?”. But like my boy told me, stop doing that “The less you know, the better”. So I’ve been good so far.

I’ve asked a mature woman I know for a translation, and she said the girl is probably scared. She told me that she probably pushes people away because she has a trust issue too, maybe not the same as mine but in a different form. Possibly because she’s been hurt badly before. She also told me the side dudes made it because they were NON-threatening to her, so I should take it as a compliment. This actually made sense to me, hence her saying “I push people away” but I’d like more opinions from women.

all in all, is all hope lost? Should I expect her to even hit me up again? I don’t like to sell myself dreams. I just don’t get where this came from. She would literally do almost anything for me so imagine how I felt when she told me these things.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like the two of you had a relationship where there was no dating, but there was sex without a commitment. Now, it sounds like you’re upset because she’s not interested in seeing you. 🙁 And you’re trying to figure out why.

It seems like your confusion is coming from your trying to be cool and acting like you’re not that interested in her — when I think you actually might be. If you can be honest with yourself about what you want from her, that would be a good start. Then, you can decide how to get what it is you want, and I can help you with that, if you’d like. If you do write back, let me know how old the two of you are.

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[TheBigPunisher]

[quote=”April Masini”]It sounds like the two of you had a relationship where there was no dating, but there was sex without a commitment. Now, it sounds like you’re upset because she’s not interested in seeing you. 🙁 And you’re trying to figure out why.

It seems like your confusion is coming from your trying to be cool and acting like you’re not that interested in her — when I think you actually might be. If you can be honest with yourself about what you want from her, that would be a good start. Then, you can decide how to get what it is you want, and I can help you with that, if you’d like. If you do write back, let me know how old the two of you are.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b][/quote]
Nah, I am interested in her. The confusion comes from the fact that it came out of nowhere. After we had a big talk about trust, and me admitting my faults in ignoring her in what I thought was me doing the right thing. After her telling me the night before, that she liked me and would’ve came to see me if it wasn’t too late. I did end up sending a text telling her how what she did, affected me. She stated she read it, but didn’t reply, so I’ll leave it be. She’s known for driving men crazy, lol. I think one guy she wasn’t even dating tattooed her name on his back, so that was a sign I should’ve payed attention to. She is also very arrogant, so even if she feels a certain way she wouldn’t come forth and admit it. But like I said, I’ll just leave the girl be. Sometimes you have to realize it’s not you — it’s them.

I’m 23, I believe she’s 19.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

A very important fact is that this woman is 19 years old, and since this has been going on for a year, you’re talking about an 18 year old young woman with very little dating experience. 😮 That’s an important fact. 😉 But it sounds like you’ve figured things out for yourself, and are moving on.

Good luck!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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