[LEODIAZ]

I wrote my girlfriend a song where i ask her to marry me
i sang it to her first then showed her the recording we listened to it in the car.
This was on a Saturday night.
BTW.. She said yes. She thought the recording sounded good
it has acoustic guitars and an island beat. Bob Marley meets Oldies
anyway.. there is no ring and she knows this but i told her
the next day we would go shop for the ring she liked
and i could afford. so the next day on Sunday we woke up and
we went shopping for her ring we took pics of several rings and went home.
when we got home we looked online and I applied for instant credit because we
both wanted to have a ring however my financial situation at the moment is limited.
So, we discussed that as soon as i saved up a little I would put one on lay away.
She mentioned telling her family and friends but the issue was everyone would ask
so wheres the ring? what about the song i asked?…. no response
not once did she mention the song nor asked me for a copy of the song
everything was about the ring. I figured she would want the song on CD or on her phone to listen to it
after all supposedly I am the love of her life and soul-mate according to her.
Sunday night she leaves.
So as she is on her way home she calls because we always talk till she gets home
so i confronted her about it and told her i was hurt by it.
this is what she said…. Are you gonna start now?, I’m sorry i forgot send it to me.
I said I know you forgot that’s what hurts not once did you consider maybe
the first thing everyone would do is want to hear the song?
she said she was sorry… but I was still upset. She said i was acting like a brat then said
you know what don’t give me anything i don’t want a ring i don’t want the song bye!
We have not talked since Sunday night she has not called nor text me its Monday 1pm.
I don’t know what to do. I am very much in Love and I know she is too but I just don’t know
how to deal with this. Is it ego, pride? Am I making a big deal of it is she to self centered on the ring?
I thought she would be totally wowed but thats not the reaction I got.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t know how old you are, or how long you’ve been dating — so if you do write again, please tell me 😉

For now, it sounds like you wanted a reaction to your song that you didn’t get, and your fiancé wanted an engagement ring that she didn’t get. So, you’re both hurt, and you’re both thinking about your own wounds, not the hurt you inflicted on each other. This isn’t the first or last time the two of you will disappoint each other accidentally, and recovering from this kind of thing is more important than that it happened at all.

My advice is that if you want to marry her, you buy her a ring that you can afford, and give it to her. If you can’t afford a ring, consider a piece of jewelry other than a ring. If you’re dead set against buying her something that she’d like as a token of the engagement, ask yourself why. There may be deeper relationship problems going on.

I hope that helps.

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