[Anonymous]

This guy and I spoke briefly on a boardwalk area off the beach several months ago. Then a few weeks ago, we ran into each other again and spoke for about an hour – very fluid and engaging. He’s a doctor who specializes in spines and joints, so he gave me a pseudo-exam right there (hands on my hips, moving my head back and forth, etc.). He told me I had nice hair. Anyway, he offered me his business card when I asked him whether he was in a group or alone. I simply took it. The conversation continued, then when we were getting ready to go our separate ways, he hugged me, and I enthusiastically told him how glad I was that we spoke and so forth. He said that he meets lots of people all the time, and you never know who he’ll meet who may need a teacher. I then volunteered my telephone number for him to call me if that happens. He put my name and number right into his cell phone. We chatted a few more minutes, then he hugged me again. We walked towards our cars, and he made another comment about my hair, and I gently stroked down his arm and smiled as I walked away. End of story!!! What happened?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You had a flirtatious encounter! 😀

This doctor likes you, and it sounds like you like him, too! That he took your number is a great sign. That you gave him encouragement by flirting with him is good work on your part. Now, you wait. If he’s interested in dating you, he’ll call. If you meet up again, coincidentally, as you did these last two times, focus the conversation away from your needing a doctor so he doesn’t think you’re a potential patient. It’s not appropriate for doctors to date their patients, so make it clear you’re dating material, not billing material. 😆 In fact, you can even tell him that you think he’d make a great doctor, but you make it a rule never to mix business with pleasure, and you’re just too attracted to him to risk making the mistake of becoming a patient of his. He’ll be very clear if you say that, on what your agenda is, and the ball will be clearly in his court at that point.

Make sure you don’t call him first! That would be an easy mistake to make. And don’t spend all your time obsessing about this encounter. You need to accept that you did everything right, and plan for a possible second accidental meeting. Or, be thrilled when he calls you and asks you out for a date.

Good luck!! 😀

[gef412]

Thank you for your detailed and optimistic response! I appreciated it. Frankly, I thought you would focus more upon the fact that it has been about a month since this discussion we had, and nearly everyone has told me that if he were interested, I would have heard from him by now. I had thought the same way and was very surprised and disheartened to know that there has still been no contact. Don’t worry; I refuse to contact him. I don’t feel comfortable doing that with any guy in the beginning, and I am even more apprehensive in this situation, given how much time has passed. Granted, the topic of our getting together was never mentioned, and the reason for our exchange of telephone numbers wasn’t with the usual male/female element on the surface, so there may be some apprehension on his part, especially if he hasn’t met anyone who happens to need a great teacher yet – hence the reason to call me!!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Look — he may call or he may not, but there’s a chance you’ll run into him again at which point you can flirt with him enough for him to know you’re interested in him as a possible date or boyfriend. Meanwhile, don’t obsess or overanalyze. Be clear on what happened and what you want to happen next with this guy, but live your life well so that if you don’t see or hear from him again, you’ve still got a great life in front of you, and if you do, it’ll be even more interesting. 😀

[gef412]

Hi.

Unfortunately, there has been no contact after all of this time. Quite honestly, I am surprised, as I thought something might have happened by now. Right or wrong, I am taking this completely as lack of interest on his part. Although I am not really going out of my way doing something I normally wouldn’t do, I have been to the beach boarwalk area several times (with friends I have met while there in recent months or by myself) around the same time as when I ran into him both times. Although I don’t go every day, I have gone enough times for another encounter to happen. Unfortunately, he has not been there on those days. However, a recent situation occurred that may/may not be relevant to this. I debated about whether to post this or not. Here goes:

Over the weekend a woman I had never seen or met before started chatting with me by the beach boardwalk. (She was saying prayers for her grandchild who was due to be released from the hospital.) Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes about how beautiful the beach/sunrise was that day and some other small talk. I revealed nothing personal about myself as far as interests or relationships. She then said to me that I had been frustrated and struggling with a situation with a man I had recently met – within six months. I said nothing, but she continued and said that he can’t move forward with me because of a situation with another woman and she was a “mess”. She didn’t know whether it was from drugs or alcohol or whatever. She said that although he really liked me, he was tied for now. He then said she could visualize him, and that he was blond. (At this point I began to get goosebumps but tried to remain unfazed in front of her.) She gave me initials of DRM that didn’t make sense at first, but after thinking about it a moment or two, the “DR” could have represented doctor. The “M” was and still is a mystery, although there are two MMs in his last name. Anyway, I finally told her that it could very well be this guy (I gave her nothing like a name or anything to confirm what she was saying and was careful not to reveal much, for obvious reasons.) I also told her that the choices were very limited, as I hadn’t really been interested in anyone at all for a few years until just recently. She believed it had to be this guy and mentioned that we had been in a previous life together. (I am on the fence about that one.) She also advised me that someone altogether different from my past regretted how things ended with us and still thought about me. I didn’t put much thought into that one.

I am as skeptical as they come, believe me. However, I also am of the mindset that things happen for a reason and people come into your lives for different purposes and so forth. In closing, she said that she felt a strong connection to talk to me when she first saw me that day. We exchanged telephone numbers, mainly because she wanted to give me a spiritual reading the next day. On the fence about it, having never done anything like that before, I called her the next day and spoke with her for a minute or two, then she said she would call me back, but she never did. For what it’s worth, I welcome your opinions, which, as noted above, may not affect your views on this situation at all.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re disappointed that you didn’t hear from this guy, and you’re looking for feelings to fill you up so you don’t have to feel disappointed. People manufacture coincidences and drama when they don’t want to feel unpleasant feelings. Don’t put any stock in the clairvoyant you met. Chalk it off to an interesting conversation.

Instead, focus your energy on getting out there and dating men who may be Mr. Right. If you need help to jump start your dating journey, get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, by downloading it here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. After you read it, let me know what you think and if it helps you at all. 🙂

[Member]

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