[Laura987]

I have a friend who I have always liked. We spend time together at least a couple times a month so we are not extremely close, but we care about each other. Recently, after I was out of another relationship a few months ago, we started sleeping together. It was only a few times and we managed to not make it awkward. I asked him what it all “meant” to him and he told me he does not want a relationship, which at the time I did not either. We didn’t see each other for a while because we both got busy. I started becoming more keen about getting into another relationship, however I am very aware that he does not want one and I do well to detach myself from him in that way. Just a couple nights ago he came over so we could catch up. He was extremely flirty with me (held my hand, footsy, touched me a lot, stared at me) the entire night but he never made a solid move and ended up leaving me with a long hug. He told me he would call me soon. It felt like a first date more than anything. I was definitely expecting a lot more and I was a little confused when he left. I feel like he is still attracted to me and interested, but I cannot figure out his intentions. Is he trying to completely cut out the sex and flirtation from our relationship? Or has he decided he wishes to pursue something more “real” with me and he is slowing things down as to do it properly?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He told you he doesn’t want a relationship, and because you’ve slept with him several times “as friends” 😕 he’s looking for more of the same. That’s the answer to the question you asked, however…. the better question is if you’re looking for a relationship, why are you hanging out with someone who’s looking for a friends with benefits situation? 🙁 This isn’t a good relationship for you right now. I don’t believe it’s a good idea for men and women to be friends — especially if they’ve slept together, and especially [i]especially[/i] if it’s been as recent as the two of you have. One person always wants more and his presence keeps you from moving on because he’s always there for you to count on, or worse, take care of.

My advice is to stop seeing him and focus on finding Mr. Right!

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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