[lonelyguy78]

Me and my gf broke up about 5 months ago but she just moved out last week. There is no specific moment before break up that caused just little things that amounted to us both being unhappy. We were going out for about two years and lived together for a year when we broke up. We were planning to buy a house together but I was unhappy at work and caused some issues with management and got fired. This was the final reason for her to say enough I want something more settled and u just risk ur job although we want to buy a house. understood why she got all upset and went to my mums for a few days. We stayed in contact over the days but she wouldnt take me back. When I went back home we meet in the city, went for a meal museum etc and had great afternoon. But made clear although we had fun she wont change her mind. Although having a guestroom we stayed sleeping in the same bed. Her reason was as it wont take long until she will buy the house on her own and it would be pointless to move things if I dont mind. It was weird as the only thing that changed was that we didnt cuddle and have sex. A few days went by with nothing much happening. I wasnt working and she works until late evening most days. So watched some tv together at night. Things were moving on with her house buy which was just around the corner. A bit more than week after the break in bed she grabbed my hand and we kissed all night and morning but nothing more.Things went a bit colder after that and on her day off she got the bad news that there was trouble with the house. As I had no job I took her out to get her mind of things. She kept talking about us etc. I managed to calm her down a little and we had a nice evening. In bed again she took my hand and made me touch her belly and boobs and we ended up having sex. The next few days were great we had fun together inside and outside of the bedroom. Every now and then it got weird but nothing major. I then went on a holiday with my mates. While gone the house sale fell through. When I got back she was real happy to see me and was all over me and was worried I went with someone else. This was strange as I got some emails from keep reminding me we not together etc. After being back a few days things cooled down again… I got some not so nice messages saying we not back together etc just because the house fell thru we not getting back together etc. The thing is I never asked to get back together I just said to her its up to her and she has to come up to me if she wants to get back. And that was right after the break up. Anyway she split rooms etc but she never did. Surenenough after another few days we got closer again. Cuddling in bed or couch at night. Not every night but most nights. Did things on her days off etc. In the meantime another camenavailable and she put in a offer.A month after her last rant the same goes on again out of nowhere we need to split our lives etc funny enough this all happened when the second buy well thru too. The same night we were invited to a party and rave. We got drunk and again were playing tunsle tennis all night long. We had a chat when we got home drunk. Sshe said im right that we have something special but need to seperatento really see if its something worth saving.
After we woke up we spend the day on the couch working on our hangovers. We started to get really close again. Doing loads together. Picking her up atbthe trainstation when she came home late. She holding me hand etc. I finally had found a job which started at the end of month.
I wanted to go away for few days before starting work and asked if my ex wanted to come along as she was off too. She said yes and we made a city break. While gone I might have been a bit clingy and she was pulling a face as if she didnt want to be there. It ended it up in a big fight on our final night. We never had a fight like that before and we both said things thst were really hurtfull. The next morning I apologised but she wouldnt have any of it.She said she will cancel me out of her life and split bedrooms etc and wont spent anytime with me. It was the journey of hell home notvtalking was killing me. After a few days home we started talking again well better said texting. She was still hurting that I said she was taking advantage of me. Because why be nice, cuddle and slep/ have sex with me if u dont love me or have feelings for me. After coming back from my friends she stayed in same room and when I started work we started sleeping same bed again. But things werent as before. Everything seemed colder more distant. In the mean time the isdues with the first house got sorted and she bought the house. I felt like I had to help her with moving to get closure as I still care for her and to be honest still deeply in love with her too. We did all the painting wallpapers shopping etc. When we were all done she was ever so greatful. After three days of moving and 5 months of waiting or dreading it we finally said goodbye. She gave me a big hug and kiss said I wouldntbknow what to do without u. I just said I wanted to see her happy. All this is really hard on me. Still living with her made the breakup bareable. I know she needs some alone time or at least thats what she tolds friends but I want her back more than anything else. If u need anymore info to give some good advice let me know. Keep my distance try stay close… confused

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’re her Mr. Right Now. She takes comfort in the relationship she has with you when she needs it, and when she’s feeling independent, she moves on. In other words, this isn’t someone who’s going to be around for the long run with you in the way you want. She’s going to move on when someone or something better comes along. This middle ground the two of you have had where you’re living together when you’re broken up and living together when you’re not, is creating confusion for you. But now that she’s got her own home, I think it’s time for you to use this opportunity to move on. It was hard for you to do so when she was around, but now that she’s got her own place, you can grieve the end of the relationship and her moving out and on, and focus on what’s best for you. The reality is that someone who is only into you when it’s convenient for her isn’t your best option. 😉 You can do better for yourself. Now’s the time. 😀

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