The message wasn’t hidden. It just hurts too much to look at straight on. He told you, clearly, that he doesn’t want the relationship, doesn’t want to live together, and doesn’t want to work on things. Calling you “tolerable” and saying he stays only because things might magically work one day isn’t love it’s avoidance. He’s choosing comfort and stability over honesty, and he’s asking you to carry the emotional weight while he waits to see if life fixes itself.
When he says he wants things to stay the same because they might get better, what he really means is that he doesn’t want to make a decision. He doesn’t want to leave, and he doesn’t want to try. That leaves you stuck in limbo, slowly shrinking.
You’re not wrong for wanting to save your family. But a family can’t be saved by one person alone. Your heart telling you to leave isn’t giving up it’s protecting you. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do for your kids is show them what self-respect looks like.
