Fill me in a little more. 😉 How old are you? How old is the child?
Here’s what I can tell you, based on your post, as written: Feelings run the gamut from love to hate — within any relationship. It’s easy to feel love, and then to feel it ebb and flow and even leave — and come back again, or not. The way you behave, and how you conduct relationships, is different, and sometimes more important, than whether you feel love or not. 😉
Feelings are great. But they’re not consistent. They’re affected by everything from your age and hormones to what you ate or didn’t eat. You can be drunk and have feelings or scared and have different ones. And whether you’re someone who has a lot of feelings or very few feelings, your behavior ends up being more important that your feelings in relationships. You can act on your feelings, or you can have your feelings and behave in a way that is different. Our ability to control impulses that are based on feelings, is what makes us human and civilized.
That you do or don’t feel “in love” with the mother of your child, or even a different form of love for her (you can love family members, plants, pets, jobs — all in different ways), is one thing. But how you behave is another. When you write that you don’t know what to do now that you’re not together, I’m a little stumped. The obvious answer is that you go on with your life. If you want to be in a relationship, you can date. Let me know if there’s more to that statement than just your uncertainty about what to do next.
The problem you have is that once you have a child together, your needs have to come second to the child’s. Just because you’re not in love with the mother of your child doesn’t mean you should leave her because that causes your child to lose daily contact with you. Unless there’s a really serious problem, like abuse or addiction, it’s not a great idea to leave your child and the home you had as a family, just because you don’t feel like you’re in love any more. Relationships take work, and if you haven’t done the work, you should consider going back to do so.
Your fear of not finding someone else is different than your fear of not feeling love all the time. We all have fears, and again — this is a feeling — but how we behave is another. You can have fear and still find love. You can have fear and find a successful relationship. But you have to understand the difference between fear and behavior. It’s good to be in touch with your feelings, but you shouldn’t let them entirely dictate your behavior. 😉
I hope this helps.
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