[mdm29]

You always have the right thing to say! I can’t thank you enough!

I’ll keep you updated!

Thanks so much April!

[Ask April Masini]

That sounds great.

[mdm29]

New Relationship Alert
& New to the “taking it slow”Route! Advice please!

Hi April!

Let me start by giving you a little insight as to how I typically went about the “dating” world. The past few serious relationships I have had, I was never one to take the slow route. It always moved quick, falling hard, and meeting the folks fairly early. To me this was the normal way….. was I ever wrong.

Back in September I became single from a relationship I was in for about 2 years that ended on my account due to not being happy and feeling like it was just a “friend” relationship at the end. I realized that you only have one life, sometimes you have to be selfish and go after what will truly make you happy, and being alone for a little bit was what I needed, and eventually, hoping I would find the perfect guy for me that would truly make me happy in more ways then one.

A couple months later, November, I began talking to a guy I somewhat knew of from years back. Never friends but I worked at a local gym, and at the time, he was dating one of the girls that also worked there. I thought he was super handsome and had the most stunning blue eyes I had ever seen. Never put thought into it of course because it was always just a quick interaction and we both were seeing someone at the time.

So this is years and years later now and we start talking, and really hit it off. We talked non stop for about a week before we actually met in person. Our first date was great, everything felt right and we truly enjoyed each others time. We kept talking and talking and then one day about 3 weeks or so later I noticed he wasn’t talking as much, taking longer to respond and just not showing any initiative. After dealing with that for a few days I decided to let him know how it was making me feel. I told him that I felt like he just wasn’t interested in this anymore and that I didn’t want to waste his time or mine. He came back saying that his feelings towards me haven’t changed, but that he felt like it was moving way to fast and that he wanted to put the breaks on a little bit. We both laughed it off after I told him that was fine and that I felt the same way, we are both new to the dating world as we were usually in a long term relationship, I just got the point across that all he had to do was communicate that to me and the problem would have been solved. After this conversation things were great, still didn’t talk as much and would take super long to answer but I kept on it as this has a lot of potential to really be something.

My last relationship got to “buddy” feeling and I dealt with a lot of issues regarding emotional strains. His last relationship ended pretty badly resulting in a lot of emotional damage and financial damage but it is all in the past now. I knew his ex and knew of what happened, his parents I feel might be hesitant too with how things went last time, I feel like they just wouldn’t want to see him hurt again as would any parent.

I’m 24 and hes 29, he has a great job and so do I, we both want the same things. We get along super great, have tons of fun, and the chemistry is there both emotionally and physically. SO much potential.

Now here is where I am new to the “taking it slow” thing. I love that we are doing it this way, It’s really giving us a chance to truly get to know one another and take our time enjoying these stages.

But now weve been doing this for just over 3 months and I just want some advice as to when I should expect things to progress, and if they don’t, how should I go about bringing it up in a way that I don’t look like a needy girl just wanting a “title” of validity.

We haven’t met each others parents yet, which I am fine with. I would love to be able to say we have been dating for how ever many months and that were into it before we bring family into it as family is important to both of us.

I am having a hard time trying not to overthink, and I have never been this way before in a relationship, It’s very different this time when it comes to that. I find myself worrying that he might be talking to other girls (which I know he’s not, I have also been told by many many people that hes a good guy and would never mess around, his good friend from childhood told me without me even asking that hes not the type of guy to talk to more then one girl). I have to also keep in mind that he is almost 30, hes ready to settle down and wouldn’t want to just play around.

Basically any advice on how to take it slow without over thinking things would be great! I have really good feelings about this and I think he does too. The lack of communication sometimes gets to me if he doesn’t respond for a while but there are more good things then bad that’s for sure! He also brings me around his friends, which is “the boys” and told me before that he wasn’t into PDA, but he usually puts his arm around my waist when were sitting on the couch even with them around.

I noticed the other day when he was showing me something funny on his phone when we were with all of them that there was an icon (fb inbox messenger, the little circle that shows the person profile photo). It was a girl. When I creeped (of course sadly) I noticed that shes more his age, good friends with his ex, and friends with people he grew up with. I over think to much and this is probably nothing. But I think when going back to the “needing” a title but not wanting to look needy, I just want that to make me feel more secure in knowing if he considers me more then just someone hes dating, but maybe a little more?

I’m sorry for being so all over the place here but that may help give you an insight as to how up in the air I am with this whole taking it slow thing, NEW DATING LEGS!

Any advice would be more appreciated then you know!

Thank you April,

You helped me so much with my last relationship, I had to write again!

MP

[Ask April Masini]

It’s GREAT that you found someone who seems so much more appropriate for you! 🙂 Now, it’s been three months that you’ve been dating and he’s introducing you to friends and showing some signs of PDA — which is awesome! It’s definitely too soon to soon to be meeting parents, so I don’t think that you should be thinking about that yet. Instead, focus on getting to know him, and yourself in the dating process. I think it’s pretty safe to assume that you may both be dating other people in this early stage — and that doesn’t mean things aren’t going well. It just means it’s early in the relationship, and too early to really commit. I know this probably makes you nervous, but you should try and focus on the process and not the end game. The reality is that a title for the relationship beyond dating, isn’t going to change things — you’ll still have the feelings you have and you’ll still have three months of dating each other under your belts. So relax and have fun and if you have to focus on a timeline, give it six months to decide if you’re going to be monogamous to each other and twelve months to really feel committed.

I hope that helps!

[mdm29]

That’s perfect!

I just have to learn not to over think thing and go with the flow! I can speak for myself and say that I haven’t even talked to another guy since we have started talking and hanging out. At the very beginning of this we would just ask each other questions and talk about various things and I remember him saying that he isn’t the type of guy to talk to more then one person at once, and that he wanted to take it slow so he doesn’t make a mistake as hes older now and isn’t looking to play around.

I do have to admit that if I found out he was talking to other girls after what his thoughts were on that at the beginning, I would be crushed and that would be a huge turn off to me. I really don’t think he does, hes a genuine nice guy with a good heart and seems to care about me… I especially see this when we actually hang out in person.

We both love to travel and spoke about how he wanted to go somewhere and so did I. After a few weeks of him sending me information on a place he wanted to go I jokingly said that if he keeps sending me stuff I’ll have to tag along since it looked so amazing, not expecting any kind of answer at all referring to me coming along of course but that’s what I got back. He said “If were still dating and you can get the time off. Hell ya!”. Since that he always says “we” now when referring to the trip rather then just making it about himself. He also mentioned that his parents might come for the first 2 weeks and then the last 2 that me and him can go alone to Greece and really enjoy the last of the trip. This is also a good sign!

All in all if it’s meant to be it will be! I have never taken it the slow way and I wish I had of everytime, you really get to appreciate all aspects of the person your getting to know. If only I can just get a hold of this stupid over thinking thing then I would be all set!

Thanks a million 🙂

[Ask April Masini]

You’re very welcome.

[Ethan Morales]

you’ve got two overlapping problems sexual mismatch (you want more, he wants less) and emotional drift (his behavior reads like friendship > romance). Those two make each other worse. You can try to fix it but you need a clear plan and a timeline, otherwise you’ll keep spiraling.

Don’t panic, but don’t excuse. Two years in, libido shifts are common stress, sleep, booze, meds, hormones, depression, porn use, unresolved resentment, or simple boredom can all tank desire. But the pattern matters: he’s only interested when drunk, he avoids intimacy when sober, and then scrolls his phone instead. That’s not a temporary blip, it’s a repeated choice. You deserve an actual partner who wants you sober as well as tipsy.

Have the adult talk. Calm, specific, non-accusatory. Don’t ambush him. Say:
“I miss how intimate we used to be. Lately sex feels rare and mostly when you drink. That hurts. I want to understand if something’s going on (stress, meds, worry) and whether you want us to work on this together.”
Say it once, set a follow-up: “Let’s talk about this seriously on Sunday at 7pm. No phones, 30 minutes.” If he refuses the meeting, that tells you everything.

Investigation not interrogation. Ask if anything has changed: sleep, meds, porn, anxiety, attraction, or a physical issue (erectile/varicocele etc.). Suggest a medical check or primary-care visit as needed. If it’s psychological (stress, low mood, past trauma), suggest counseling couples or individual. If he stonewalls, that’s a red flag.

Practical intimacy reboot (if he’s willing): schedule sex/connection time, remove distractions, flirt again, small non-sexual affection, add novelty (new date, lingerie, sensual massage). Give him agency: “I want to re-spark us will you pick one night this week to unplug and try?” If he consistently avoids, the problem is motivation, not timing.

Boundaries & timeline. Don’t leave it open-ended. Example: “I’m committed to trying X (counseling/medical check/2-month intimacy plan). If after 8–10 weeks nothing changes, I’ll have to re-evaluate whether this relationship meets my needs.” Put a calendar date on the plan. People move when confronted with clear boundaries; wishful waiting rarely works.

Self-care & options. Keep living your life. See friends, exercise, look great for you, keep your standards. If he won’t meet you halfway, consider whether you want to keep investing. Intimacy mismatch is a valid relationship deal-breaker if it’s persistent and one-sided.

If you need words to start the conversation, try this short script:
“I love you and I want us to be close. Lately I feel more like your friend than your partner. I want to know if you want to fix that with me. If you do, let’s make a plan together. If you don’t, please be honest so I can decide what’s best for me.”

You’re not asking for fireworks every night you’re asking to feel wanted. That’s reasonable. Don’t let politeness or fear of hurting his ego keep you in a relationship that slowly drains you. Try the honest conversation + concrete plan. If he shows up and does the work, great. If he won’t, it’s kinder to yourself to move on.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… you’re just outgrowing the version of love that settled. 💔 when you start feeling like a roommate instead of a woman being *wanted,* that’s the truth whispering. if you’re asking whether this is “the one,” it probably isn’t. life’s too short to beg for spark. go find the fire again. 🔥

[Marcus king]

Here’s the thing ,chemistry fades when connection gets lazy. You’re not asking for too much, you’re just asking the wrong person to give it. If a man only wants you when he’s drunk, that’s not passion, that’s avoidance. You deserve someone who’s present, sober, and still wants to touch you. He might be a good guy, but good doesn’t always mean right. Sometimes the lesson isn’t how to hold on, it’s how to let go with peace.

[PassionSeeker]

You are not asking for too much you’re just asking the wrong person.
A woman’s softness should never be mistaken for submission. You can’t keep being the cleaner, the comforter, and the motivator while getting the bare minimum in return.
You’re ready for partnership someone who meets you halfway, turns you on emotionally and mentally, someone you can grow beside.
It’s time to shift the energy from “How can I fix this?” to “Does this align with my worth?”
Because when you choose yourself, the universe responds by sending someone who will choose you too.

[Author]

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