[nmarie92]

I met this guy 31 years old on a dating website. Im 23, almost 24. Hes from Texas, and I live in California. I hardly crush on men especially online, but honestly he is everything a girl would want in a man. Cute, funny, mature, successful, runs his own business, dresses nice. We were texting and calling each other almost everyday for almost two months. He would always be the one calling or texting first. Sometimes first thing in the morning when he would wake up. He would tell me he wants to come visit me often. He even told me his business gave him an opportunity to move to South America for a year and if I would be interested in coming with him. Everything was going fine, until he stopped texting and calling. I asked why he hasn’t been contacting me and he told me he has been really busy with work. After that another 4 days go by, and he texted me saying “sorry iv been MIA. iv been so busy at work. how have you been?” we text back and forth for a while that day and that’s it. Ever since then, its been 12 days now that he hasn’t contacted me again. Should I text him? I really want this to work, or at least meet in person. I don’t understand where it went wrong and I don’t want to let this go. I’m so confused. Please help me out here!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Dating is competitive, and if you met him on an online dating site, he’s meeting other women online, too. Knowing that, you should assume that any guy who wants to date you, will do so within the first three months of meeting online. If he hasn’t, there’s no sense in prolonging things — no matter how awesome he may seem. It sounds like he’s lost momentum and interest. I don’t think that your texting him after this lull in communication is going to be the impetus he needs to fly out and date you if he hasn’t already. 😳 It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong — I just don’t think he’s that interested. 😕

[nmarie92]

Well, (me being me https://relationshipadviceforum.com/images/icons/smile/redface.gif) I did go back and check on his profile. and he barley logs on anymore. Also, a day before he completely went MIA, he told me “call me soon, I miss your voice”. I just don’t get how men can lose interest that fast! how can he go from asking when he can come visit, to just not wanting to contact me anymore. Anyways, I’m thinking of texting him tomorrow saying, “you crossed my mind, I really hope all is well with you”. Something short and sweet. maybe it’ll get things going again?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

That sounds fine, and if it makes you feel better, then it’s great. I just don’t want you to put energy into a relationship that’s one sided. Like I said, if you met online, he’s got plenty to distract himself with. And if he shows you contact that’s his way of showing his interest. If his contact wanes, it shows his absence or lack of interest. Play the field and don’t put all your eggs in one basket — especially when it comes to online dating. He is! And if he doesn’t ask you on a real life date within three months of meeting, know that he’s not interested in dating in real life. Remember — you have just as many tools as he does, and you can broaden your search, too!

[Member]

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