[thebiglimp]

Hi April, it’s been a while since i started this ‘game’, had ups and downs but the recent one once again confuses me to no end.

i met this girl on tinder for a one night stand, sex is incredible, turns into two, three night stands. i wanna make it more permanent, a relationship, so i ask her out, she refuses, we still meet for you-know-what, then on the fifth and the last time, i let it be known in so many words that i will not see her again unless we go on a date. once again she refuses, letting me know that this is pure tinder/sex thing and she has other guys lined up. but somehow we get emotional in the end of the night, and as i leave, she starts crying. sad, genuine tears. i comfort her, assuring her that she can trust me.

so we go on a date the next week, planning to spend the whole day together but she overreacts on little things i say, acting pissed off all day, and after dinner, tells me to go home. we barely had any communication that day, her just overreacting and ignoring me, while still spending time together for 6 hours… we now only text briefly, and she avoids the question of next date.

the girl definitely has an abandonment issues, and i’d like to know why she behaved that way during the date, and why she cried.

here are some factors that confuse me even more

-she had at least two guys i know of, lined up for short term dating thing. she’d tell me she had dinner with this guy, cuddled with that guy, ect. these i know for truth. yet she cries at little old me when i ask her for a date, the same kind of thing?

-she did text me after ditching me that night that she was afraid of love. but given the circumstances, and the fact it was but a text, i still find it hard to believe she was telling the truth. i mean she acts like i’m dirt then sends me that kind of dramatic comment?

i still would like to win her over if i can. she barely keeps contact with me now, often times replying with a picture instead of text. i know she sometimes takes them on the spot so i’d think it would be just as much work as typing…

[thebiglimp]

hi april. i had time to look back on my posts, and reminiscent. and just would like to thank you for your past insight. i’d like to think that i’ve improved since then, and my uhm, enrichment of social lifes seem to be the proof of that.

but this latest person truly confuses me.

she did not want an emotional relationship, and i forced it upon her. i see that now. but the way she cried on me that night made me completely fall for her, and it’s something i cannot ignore even now, after she has left.
i feel that she cried, and the way the emotions built up to that tear, was because she truly had feelings for me. but maybe i read it wrong, and if i did, i do not want to make the same painful mistake again. on that last meet, she acted it as if it was the most casual of the hookups, almost ignoring to talk to me, then after we had sex, making small talks, i could not hide my sadness and she also became sad in her voice. and as we parted, she said bye, and turned around and started crying. i took that as a sign that she was sad to say goodbye, because she loved me. so i assured her there was nothing to be afraid of, i would not let her down, and we decided to go on a date, like a real couple.

did i read her tears right? did she have that kind of feelings for me? if so, me chasing her to bitter end i do not regret.

thank you once again for your reply. it’s always most helpful.

[Ask April Masini]

You’re very welcome. It’s good to hear from you.

[thebiglimp]

thank you. so what do you think, april? 🙂

[Ask April Masini]

When a woman tells you she does not want an emotional relationship with you — it’s probably not a good idea to try and have one. Just because someone has feelings for you doesn’t mean that they want to have a relationship with you. I think you should look forward and find someone who is more compatible with your relationship goals from the get go.

[PassionSeeker]

First of all, don’t beat yourself up you didn’t “blow it.” You learned. That’s what dating really is: practice in understanding people and yourself. From what you’ve described, she was initially curious and open, but your excitement turned into pressure, and that shifted the dynamic. The “downgrade” from dinner to an afternoon meet was likely her way of testing the waters keeping things casual to see if she felt comfortable.

Your texts, though well-intentioned, came off a little anxious and heavy. That energy can make someone pull back fast, especially early on. When she began avoiding you, it wasn’t out of spite it was discomfort. She probably felt cornered by repeated invites and didn’t know how to decline gracefully.

Here’s the truth: she was interested at first, but attraction is fragile. When it feels forced or uncertain, people retreat. Take this as insight, not failure. Next time, keep your energy easy. Ask once, then step back. Let things breathe connection builds naturally when you stay relaxed and curious. You’ve got this

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