[Jacinta98]

So my ex partner and I are young, I’m 18 he’s 20. We broke up about 3 weeks ago. We were together for 2 years, it was both first serious relationship, we loved eachother to bits and were absolutely crazy about eachother. We argued a far bit, over trust and Insecurities, because he lied a lot. Which caused problems, we spent so much time invested into eachother. I fell pregnant and he didn’t want the baby (Us being so young) I wanted the baby but had no support from family nor him, so I got an abortion. Ever since then our problems got worse, he never looked at me the same, we didn’t laugh, we were with eachother but he ignored me. We have been through our fair share of troubles and I mean a lot of troubles but we always got through it because we loved eachother so much. We did everything together as a couple, we were so comfortable. He left me 3 weeks ago, out of the blue. We had an argument and I left the house to go to my mothers because I just had enough of him acting like a tool bag. He then took that as me breaking up with him, he unfriended me off Facebook and said we were over, that night he said that he was so sorry and that we wil talk tomorrow and he didn’t want to lose me. That next day, he changed, he lied to me and said he was staying at his mothers and couldn’t come over to talk, little did I know he was at his mates house playing games and getting drunk, he then told me he needed space to think for awhile, so I gave him space. It was a week later and I messaged him saying it’s driving me crazy not knowing I’m an emotional wreck. He then said he didn’t want to be with me anymore and that he’s unhappy. He came and collected his things 4 days later, he came with his mother and walked into my house and straight to my dad and they talked for about 20 minutes and I was talking to his mother out the front. He’s very close with my dad and I’m very close with his mum. He then came out so say goodbye after his things were packed, he hugged me for a long time and started to cry and then I started to cry and walked away. I haven’t talked to him since. I love him more than anything else in this world, we had amazing moments but not so good ones too. I’m holding on to the “I regret it I want you back” it may never come or it might but what I wanna know is if he would be regretting his desision anytime soon, I love this boy, I know he loves me, how could he leave me and mean it and walk away from us? Will he regret it?

[AskApril Masini]

Nobody leaves out of the blue. You may want to think it’s out of the blue, but for him, this break up has been brewing for a long time. That it’s a first romance makes the break up more painful, and more difficult to let go, but I think that this is going to be for the best for you. It’s very difficult to be with someone who lies, as I’m sure you know — and when you date someone who doesn’t lie, you’ll have an even better perspective. I also think the pregnancy affected him in ways you may not realize, and that was the turning point for him. Suddenly, your first love took on levels of seriousness and commitment that hadn’t been in the forefront earlier.

I’m sure he’ll think of you as his first love, always. But what he thinks is less important than what you think. 😉

[Jacinta98]

My ex boyfriend who broke up with me 4 weeks ago messaged me at 3am lastnight, he broke up with me coldly online on Facebook, we did have a lot of dramas circling just because the loss of a baby. I also found out that is seeing a girl, now… He moved on very quickly. (Not sure if rebound or not) we were together for two years, I love this boy. I don’t want to lose him, he is my everything and always will be. Anyway to cut to the chase he sent me this at 3am in the morning, what do you think he’s thinking, is there any hope for us? I’m very confused with some things like I don’t want to “lose you out of my life” “your the absolute love of my life” of that’s so why did he leave? Anyway this is what he sent
me:

i just wanted to say that i am truly sorry about how everything ended, you deserved to know how i felt but that was where the problem was Because I didnt Know how I felt, So I just wanted to apologise for putting you through so much pain, i dont want to lose you from my life like but us as couple just wasnt working, i truly am sorry, you are the absolute love of my life, as i lay here at 3am typing this to you, you truly were a great part of my life, dont ever think that ill love anyone like i love you, i was just so over all the arguing all the bullshit, i know i did a fuckload wrong in our relationship and all i seemed to do was hurt you, no matter how i tried please you it always seemed like you never were, so i just sorta stopped trying to.. it all just took such a massive toll on me emotionally, i really need to go to bed, but i just wanted to say that you will hold my heart and our babys forever dont think that i will ever forget that, goodbye, i really hope that we can talk about things in the future, please stay safe xx

Is he guilty? And the main thing I’m wondering. Is there any hope for us, like I said I love this boy, what do I do? I don’t want to let him go (not telling him that, already done that when we broke up and he through it in my face, then I stopped contact and this is what I got) but also apparently he’s being seeing another girl, so guilty message from that because he knows that I know or is he doing something here. Please help…

[Jacinta98]

Also not to mention we were engaged. And also today I found out (through our mutual friends) he asked them about me and also said that he didn’t leave me for anyone else ect. As he would lie most likely. He also liked one of our old Facebook photos on Facebook. It all very confusing, I’m really hurt and angry but I haven’t replied to his goodbye letter, I’m just using the NC rule. I just wanna know what he really is meaning and I would like to k ow if there is any chance we could ever be something again, I want I let go but I really would like to hear the words “I regret losing you, I regret leaving you” come out of his mouth.

[AskApril Masini]

The engagement is good information. I didn’t know that when you first wrote. Fill me in a little more:

When during the two years did you get engaged? Did he give you an engagement ring? Did you give it back? Was there ever a wedding date?

[Jacinta98]

We got engaged pretty much a year ago, we planned to get married 2017, February the 6th but money issues we probably would’ve changed the date. Yes I had an engagement ring, I put it in the box and packed it with his things, when he collected them

[AskApril Masini]

He’s definitely going to have feelings about the relationship and it’s ending — especially because of the layers involved (your engagement, the length of the relationship, the pregnancy and the abortion). But it doesn’t change things for you. You have to take care of yourself, and if he’s moved on, whether or not he regrets his decision, you’re on your own — and hopefully, not for long! Regardless of the situation, when a guy says one thing and does another, believe the actions over the words. His feelings are not as important to your life as his actions. 😳

[Sally]

He didn’t leave because he stopped loving you. He left because everything became tied to pain, guilt, and fear. The pregnancy, the abortion, the fighting, the lying that changes people. Not overnight, but slowly. Some people don’t know how to stay when things get that heavy, so they shut down and run instead.

Will he regret it? Maybe. A lot of people do, especially when the noise fades and they’re alone with their thoughts. But regret doesn’t always mean coming back, and waiting for that moment will keep you stuck.

Right now, what matters more than what he feels is what you need. You’ve been through grief on top of heartbreak. That’s not small. Let the silence be what helps you heal, not what keeps you hoping. You loved deeply. That wasn’t a mistake.

[Member]

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