[leerb3]

ive been with my girl for three years,for 16 to 19. we’ve built so many beautiful memories together, from staying on the phone all night to walking her to swimming practice every day in high school. we’ve become each others obsession and universe. back to the story,about a couple months ago i started to distance myself from her, and told her i needed a break. during that break we still saw each other and acted like we were still dating. also in that time i thought i was “mr cool”, going to parties smoking cigarettes trying to be cool. also in that time i met this girl that i liked and started hanging out with and eventually we slept together. so a week ago someone told her that they saw me hanging out with the girl and she eventually she called the girl and found out everything.its been a week since shes left me and im dying. the thought of another woman gets me naseous, i cant concentrate on anything. she has become my mother father best friend,everything thing. ive heard a lot of guys say they would never do it again but even the thought of doing it again gets me sick, literally. i love her so much and im willing to go to the ends of the universe to get her back and to continue our beautiful journey together as soul mates and lovers and friends. i know i messed up and took a wrong turn somewhere but i am truly regretful, i have never felt this empty so i can imagine her pain, i want nothing more than to hold my angel in my arms right now, if she does give me another chance i know it will take a long time to rebuild but i am willing to do whatever i need to, if any one has any advice please share- thank you

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Boy, oh boy

[Ethan Morales]

I want to acknowledge the depth of your feelings you clearly love her and are genuinely remorseful. That matters, and it’s important that you feel the weight of what your actions did to her. The fact that you feel physically sick at the thought of being with someone else shows that your heart is in the right place now, but love alone isn’t enough to fix the situation immediately.

You cheated while still emotionally involved with her, even if you were “on a break.” From her perspective, it’s a major violation. Even if you’re repentant, trust doesn’t automatically come back. She’s going to feel hurt, angry, and uncertain, and that’s completely normal. Saying “I love you” and “I’ll do anything to fix it” is meaningful, but she will need consistent, tangible evidence that you’ve changed. That means no more games, no distancing yourself, no trying to act “cool” to impress anyone. She needs to see that you are fully committed, reliable, and honest.

Right now, she’s hurt and needs time to process. You cannot force her to forgive or return. Pressuring her or begging constantly may push her further away. Accept responsibility fully. Don’t try to explain away your actions as “part of being young” or “experimenting.” Recognize that what you did was a betrayal, and that her feelings are valid. If she chooses to give you a second chance, it will be slow. Every step of the way, you must prove yourself trustworthy and consistent. Words alone aren’t enough; your actions must align with your promises.

Give her a respectful amount of space to process. Write a heartfelt, honest message or letter acknowledging your mistakes, without excuses, and expressing your willingness to do the work to rebuild trust. Focus on improving yourself emotionally stop trying to act “cool” or chase validation from others. Show that you can be a mature, loving partner.

Accept that she may say no, and if that happens, you must respect it even though it hurts. Right now, the most important thing is patience, accountability, and proving through consistent behavior that you’ve changed. If you do that, there’s a possibility to repair the relationship, but it will not be instant.

[Serena Vale]

I can tell you really loved her and you’re hurting right now. This is what happens when trust breaks, it hurts both people.

Right now the best thing you can do is accept what you did, don’t make excuses, and give her space. Tell her you’re sorry, mean it, and then actually work on yourself. She needs time to heal, and you can’t rush that.

If she decides to come back one day, you’ll have to rebuild slowly. If she doesn’t, you still have to grow from this so you never repeat it.

It feels awful now, but use this to become better. That’s the only way forward, for her, and for you.

[Natalie Noah]

I can feel the depth of your remorse and how truly broken you feel right now. What you’ve experienced, the pain of betrayal, the regret of choices that hurt someone you love is heavy, and it’s clear you’re really seeing the consequences of your actions. The fact that you’re nauseous at the thought of hurting her again and that you genuinely want to make things right shows that your feelings are real, and that you’ve learned a lot from this experience. But here’s the hard truth: love alone can’t automatically fix the trust that’s been broken. She has every right to feel hurt, angry, and unsure about giving her heart back to someone who hurt her. Rebuilding that trust is a process, and it’s going to require patience, transparency, and consistent action over time not just promises or words.

The first step is to give her space to process everything, because right now she’s navigating her own pain. Reach out with genuine, humble honesty acknowledge the hurt you caused without excuses or trying to soften it, and express that you are committed to doing whatever it takes to rebuild her trust if she chooses to give you that chance. Then, let your actions speak louder than your words: show consistency, reliability, and accountability in every interaction. There’s no guarantee she’ll take you back, and you have to prepare for that possibility but even if she does, it will take time to heal. This is your opportunity to truly grow, to understand the weight of your choices, and to become a man who respects and protects the love you say you cherish so deeply.

[Simon]

So you love her, but why did you ask for a break? You needed this validation from outside. Until you fix those insecurities within yourself that you have to show off. You will make the same mistake again.
Instead of convincing, focus on yourself, go to the gym, and concentrate on your studies.

[Member]

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