[Anonymous]

So ive been with this guy for about a year now, we are boyfriend and girlfriend. I might just be 16 but i need help just as much as the next girl. Lets say his name is john. Ive never felt this way about a guy but its just turned into a relationship idk if i can be in. He use to be a player but he litterally changed for the better to be with me. but now that he is no longer a player he is super clingy and jealous. He gets mad that im friends with one of my ex’s and he never trusts me. he says he wishes i didnt have guy friends and thinks every guy likes me. we get in arguments and the next day he will apologize but the day after that he will turn it around on me like it was all my fault. and its just a matter of days before we get in another fight. whenever i say im done he says hes going to kill himself!! i love this guy but its like he relys on me for all the happiness and support in his life. I know he hasnt had a good life so far and not many good relationships but can he change?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If he changes it will be his decision, not yours. There is nothing you can do to make him change except to be clear about what you will and won’t accept in your own life. If he continues to try and control you, which is what he’s doing, you need to let him go because he’s limiting who you are and how you best flourish in the world to satisfy his own needs which are incompatible with yours. You’d do better with a guy who’s more social and confident and who doesn’t feel so threatened if other guys like you.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. And join me on Facebook at AskApril.com on Facebook! Here’s the link: [url][/url]. 😀

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