Thanks for the advice. We’ve been talking a lot about things and this was the only lie he’s ever told me (which is probably why it was such a surprise) but judging by how upset he’s been with himself, i don’t think he’ll ever do it again because he knows it only makes things worse. He was upset to the point that i felt bad for bringing it up when i wanted to know something because it only made him hate himself more, but he has promised me that i deserve to know anything that i want to, and if it helps me heal then he will do anything. He was in a period of pretty bad depression when he did these things in the past, before i knew him, and i would never judge him for it. He has not had any depression in the time i’ve known him, and i think what made this hard for me is because he’s done everything else better than i ever could imagine in our relationship, so finding out he’s not perfect, even though it is very realistic to make mistakes in relationships, had to change my view. We have a really good sex life and i know it is because things are meaningful for him now, which they never were for either of us in past relationships. I can’t be jealous about things in his past because i wasn’t there and it was before he met me. He is definitely not a chronic liar, and he talks everyday about how lucky he is to have me and how much he hopes he’s in my future and i’ve never doubted him on that.
When i wrote to you i was just in a bit of shock and didn’t really know what to do and wanted an outside opinion. But the situation is getting better (although it does not help that we are in a long-distance relationship for school, because with things like this, it is hard not to be able to be with each other) and i’ve realized that i need to separate his mistake from insecurities that surfaced as a result of it, and i think it will only make us stronger as a couple to deal with something like this.
