Hi April,
So I wanted to update you because it’s gone in a full circle since the last week. I talked to him last night due to other circumstances that had to do with his sister, who is my close friend, going through a rough time. Anyway, in the midst of talking about her, we started talking about us because I was telling him that I felt he had not only neglected me but there were now other people that felt as though he left them as well. We went back and forth for awhile, he was saying that he hadn’t been happy but didn’t want to lose me so he didn’t know what to say, but in handling it in the way he did he had hurt me even more. And then he finally said what I have been thinking the entire time…that it wasn’t actually about us or me at all but that he felt as though he really did need to find himself because he felt like he had nothing to offer another person. He stated that he didn’t have a reason to leave me, that it is about him finding happiness within himself. It was a really good conversation, I finally felt like I had answers. I expressed to him that this had been especially difficult for me because I felt like I didn’t have a clear answer and we were so close that it didn’t make sense to me, therefore I was feeling I was unable to move forward. We said our relationship was so to speak “right thing, wrong time”, and I am really proud of us for saying it isn’t right to be in a relationship if we can’t give each other everything. He said to me that we shouldn’t think of this as losing each other, because we don’t want that. I think we’ll grow to be good friends or we will grow up and grow back together. I have never felt this strongly about someone so that’s why I hope it works out for the best (friends or more). I told him that I didn’t want to be with him because I know it isn’t right either. We know we are good for each other and we make each other happy, so it would be unfortunate to lose each other.
Thoughts?
